Cash Back Please!

Lady shopper at a busy checkout completing her transaction with a queue of people behind her waiting to be served.

 

Cashier:     “That will be £47.56p Madam. How do you wish to pay?”

Lady at checkout: “Ah yes, £47 you say. That’s good. My hubby says I should spend less than fifty pounds because times are hard and we need to save. Now then, where is my purse? Must be in the trolley. Just a moment, I’ll just find my handbag.

Cashier:  “Madam, your handbag is on the counter here.”

Lady at checkout: “Oh so it is. Now where is it? Must be somewhere in here. Can never find anything in my handbag. Must get it sorted out. No, it’s not there. Now where on earth could I have put it? Now I wonder if I have left it anywhere? Now where was I before I came in here? Ah yes, the Charity shop, but I didn’t buy anything there so I can’t have left it there.

Cashier: “Madam, have you tried your coat pocket?”

Lady at checkout: “Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, young man. Fancy that, it’s been there all the time. Now, how much did you say?”

Cashier: “£47.56p Madam and how do you wish to pay, cash or card?”

Lady at checkout: “Right, now here’s my loyalty card.”

Cashier: “Not necessary Madam, we already have processed that at the beginning.”

Lady at checkout: “Oh, so we did and that’s when I put my purse from my handbag into my pocket. Silly me for forgetting. Now what am I looking for in here?”

Cashier: “Madam, do you wish to pay cash or card?”

Lady at checkout: “Ah yes, now if I pay cash will I have enough money left. Yes, I think so since I’ve only spent less that fifty. Now, I could pay by card and ensure I’m not short for later. What should I do? Yes, I know, I will pay cash young man. Here is two twenty and a ten-pound note. Shall I give you the 56p to help you with the change, I know you people at the tills have to look after your change.” 

Cashier: “Not necessary Madam. I have plenty of change here.”

Lady at checkout: “I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can only get to 48p. Oh you can manage. That’s good. Now, can I have ‘Cash Back’ on that please?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry Madam, we only do ‘Cash Back’ on card transactions.”

Lady at checkout: “Ah, but of course, now, have you given me points for my own bags?

Cashier: “Yes Madam, you told me you had brought four of your own bags earlier. Here is your receipt Madam and 44p in change. Have a good day.”

Lady at checkout: “Thank you, Thank you. Now do I get my fuel vouchers? I need to fill my little car up, you know.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry Madam, we only give vouchers for transactions over £50 spent. Have a good day.”