The Strange Shopper
“Mr. Hartley, I’ve been coming to your Harley Street clinic for the past four months, paying exorbitant fees and you haven’t helped me with my problem. In fact, as far as I’m concerned it has got worse. My strongest urge at this moment is to go straight to Harrods on a spree.”
“Now Mrs. Merideth-Jones, I don’t think you are being quite fair about the matter. It takes time to discover the real reasons for your urge.”
“Yes, and at any time I could be involved in an embarrassing situation which will impact on my business and my husband’s career. What if the papers should get hold of my problem, then my husband’s job as Member of Parliament is at risk. I cannot wait any longer. You have to find a quick fix for my uncontrollable urge.”
Feeling rather cross, Mrs. Merideth-Jones felt she needed some retail experience so redirected the black cab to her regular venue, Harrods, and to stop some hundred metres before. She didn’t want to be greeted by a certain doorman who could be a nuisance at times and spoil her pleasure.
“Good day to you Alice and welcome to our emporium. We have a special exhibition of jewellery today at three. Champagne will be served. Shall I book you in?” said Harry the doorman who opened the door for her with a flourish. Dam it she though. I have again overlooked the security cameras outside and they must have warned Harry to be on the look out for me. Instead of proceeding directly to the show she made her way to the crystal counter. There she chose some large rings and bangles set with paste diamonds and paid for them on her account.
“Good morning Mrs. Merideyh-Jones, how nice to see you,” said the welcoming voice of a long-time member of the Harrods sales staff who knew their valued customers. “Anything in particular you would like us to show you?”
“Yes, diamond encrusted rings and bangles for the moment. I have some birthdays to buy for.”
“This way please, madam,” cooed another assistant that happily she hadn’t seen before. “If you would sit down there in a comfortable chair, I will bring a selection that may interest you. Would madam like a drink?”
“Yes, a dry sherry, preferably a Spanish Fino,” replied Alice rather sharply as she sat before a low green baize covered table, swivelling her rings on her fingers so that the stones were hidden from view. The sales attendant brought forward a tray of rings and positioned them carefully on the baize, adjusting the angle poise lamp for maximum brightness. “Is this all you have to show me?” uttered Alice brusquely as she brought out her own magnifying eye piece and inspected the diamond on one of the rings.
“I shall fetch another tray madam, if you would excuse me.”
“Fetch two or three. I can’t make my mind up on such a small selection. And don’t forget the bangles,” said Alice rather sternly as the assistant rushed off to do her bidding. This was a field day for Alice. As she was inspecting a ring closely, she palmed another ring from the tray and replaced it with a paste that she had bought earlier. Two more rings went the same way, ensuring that the transaction took place out of clear sight of the security cameras.
“Are these to your liking madam?” said the assistant positioning two trays of assorted bangles and another tray of rings before Alice. Alice immediately altered her attention to the bangles and waved the ring trays away. It was easy-peasy for Alice to palm a bangle and replace it with a fake. When the assistant returned Alice started to look visibly bored, drank down half her sherry, looked at her watch and rose from her chair.
“Nothing interests me here, nothing original and the diamonds are not of the best quality.” With that remark she turned away and sashayed to the door murmuring something that sounded as if the quality of goods had deteriorated. She went to the gent’s watch department and eventually bought her husband an antique Longines watch to add to his collection. The assistants were too sharp to allow her to palm an antique Patek Philippe which she was most interested. She signed off her account for thirty thousand guineas, had the Longines beautifully packed, picked up her Harrod’s envelope with her invoice and stalked off to the exit in a bad mood.
“Hello Alice, you don’t look too pleased? I’ll call a cab for you,” said Harry, gripping Alice’s elbow, gliding her to the curb as a black cab glided to a stop. “In you get dear and sit down,” said Harry rather sternly as he sat beside her in the cab. “Now what have you got for me today? Something nice I hope.”
“I managed to get a ring and a bangle. Not much today,” answered Alice gravely.
“That’s not much of a haul. I’m sure you have more than that. Come on Alice, hand them over. And the other ring. Now what about the bangles? The three you took.”
“No Harry, I only managed two today and they were too observant at the watch counter. I bought a nice Longines for his collection.”
“That’s fine Alice. I’ll put them in my pocket and put them safely with the others you have given me. Say Hi to George for me.” Harry put the stash in the large side pocket of his coat, alighted, closed the door gently as the cab glided off towards Hampsted. Harry shook his head at the departing cab, nodded to the security camera and stalked off to the security office to hand back the haul. The only difference this time was that she hadn’t bought herself an expensive frock or two.
Alice was cross with the world, herself and especially her expensive psychiatrist. They hadn’t cured her addiction or intense urge to shoplift. It was as if she suddenly changed into a different personality once she had walked into Harrods. On the pavement on entry, she was Alice Merideth-Jones, CEO of a leading advertising agency and married to an eminent MP. Once she had crossed the threshold, she was someone else, intent on deceiving the management. She was good at it and in reflection she could have made a tidy living as a career. Fortunately, the management at Harrods were understanding and allowed her some leeway even though all the regular staff knew of her penchant and were ordered to be additionally security conscious when she was at their counter. Apart from her thieving she was a good customer, spending more than thirty thousand a month on legal purchases. The stolen ones had to be given back and this is where Harry the doorman featured. Whilst she was in this second personality mode, Harry was her confidant and supported her in supposedly fencing of the stolen goods. Once she handed over her ill-gotten gains that Harry inveigled out of her in the taxi, she suddenly switched personality to the normal Alice and suddenly found herself truly embarrassed by the sad experience.
Privately, George the husband was grateful to Harry for playing the in between but suspicious that not all the goods might be being returned to security. He hired a private detective agency to break into Harry’s flat in Brixton, making it appear as a regular burglary. They wrecked the place, pulling up floorboards, breaking down stud walls, checking all nooks and crannies but found nothing hidden. That is until they broke the bathroom mirror and found a hiding place behind, in the void holding the sewer pipe. The mirror was fixed onto the wall with special screws with silver decorative caps. The whole could be easily detached from the wall and refitted. In a box jammed in the void they found a treasure of antique watches and jewellery, all with receipts from Harrods.
Harry must have kept and hidden some of the items that Alice had given him from her shoplifting sprees. The contents of the box were given to Alice’s husband and the mirror replaced. The police never found the burglars and the insurance companies paid for the damage and replacement of damaged items. Nothing of significance was stolen apart from a camera and a pair of binoculars. Life for Harry returned to normal apart from the shock of losing his hoard of valuable jewellery that he couldn’t declare to the police. He suspected that a taxi driver had overheard the exchange between Alice and him. He would have to be more circumspect in future having lost his personal pension.
Sitting in her luxurious office, Alice was perusing glossy magazines, checking the adverts her company had placed and occasionally scrutinising an article that caught her fancy. An article on hypnotism interested her especially when the expert pronounced that he had cured all kinds of impulsive behaviour. Putting down her glass of champagne and magazine she rang her private medical practitioner and questioned him thoroughly. He was aware of her problem and promised to find an appropriate hypnotist as soon as possible.
Two days later a middle-aged man driving a silver Mercedes pulled up at the gates of her mansion in Hampstead and pressed the call button. “Mr. Hemel, with an appointment to see Mrs. Merideth-Jones.’
“I’m opening the gates for you Mr. Hemel. We are expecting you. Please park your car under the carport and I’ll be down to show you the way,” said the maid, making her way to the front door and towards the visitor’s car. “Please follow me, Mrs. Merideth-Jones is waiting for you in her study. Would you like any refreshments?”
“Thank you. Please provide fresh water for us. No tea, coffee or any other stimulants,” ordered Mr. Hemel brusquely as he followed the maid to the front door and was shown into a study. Mrs. Merideth-Jones was already waiting for him and stood to greet him. “Morning Mrs. Merideth-Jones, pleased to meet you. I hope you are well?”
“Very well thank you and can we get down to business straight away? And please call me Alice.”
“Dr. Reynolds explained to me your grave predicament and I believe I can help you, that is with your total cooperation. This first visit should only take less than an hour. Please sit in the chair behind your desk there and I shall hypnotise you and order you to desist from this practise. I will implant this instruction in a number of ways to enforce the command. I warn you; it may take more than one visit. Now please relax and just stare at my index finger.”
It certainly took more than one visit. After the fourth visit Rupert Hamel was at a loss and even offered a full rebate for his time. Alice wanted one more try but this time Rupert would accompany Alice on a shopping trip to Harrods. This was arranged for the next afternoon. They met up outside Harrods at 2pm and were met by the doorman Harry.
“Good afternoon Mrs. Merideth-Jones, welcome to our Emporium and to your friend,” said Harry as he pulled open the door and doffed his topper hat.
“Good day to you Harry. Why not ‘Alice’?” answered Alice addressing Harry and introducing Mr. Hemel. “This is my good friend Dr. Hemel, he is helping me with my problem.”
“Good afternoon, Dr. Hemel and welcome to this noble emporium. We have an exhibition of antique watches today Mrs. Merideth-Jones, that might interest you,” said Harry as he opened the door and ushered them through.
“Thank you, Harry. Come on Rupert, let’s make our way to the jewellery department, my husband so loves his watches,” said Alice as she swept ahead whilst Rupert took another look at Harry, now standing in the open door, ushering another shopper.
“Alice, I could swear that I have met Harry before somewhere. I could be just a coincidence but I’ve just had one of those déjà vu moments. You know what I mean?”
“Oh, Harry’s been here ages. He did the same job at another London store. Come on I don’t want the best pieces to go.” They spent a comfortable hour being shown an array of antique watches and Alice chose a Cyma watch for her husband’s collection. “Rupert, I don’t know if it’s your presence but I feel quite normal. I don’t have that urge to steal. You haven’t hypnotised me, have you?”
“No, no Alice, I haven’t done a thing other than feel somewhat uncomfortable with all this wealth before us. These things cost a fortune. I only hope your husband will be pleased with his gift.”
“It’s not just a gift Rupert, It’s an iron clad investment. These things appreciate faster than gold and all the stocks you can buy. The best thing is that he can enjoy our investment and there’s no tax to pay. OK the entry level is prohibitive for most people but it’s a marvellous investment for our future.”
“Look Alice, I feel a fraud in today’s outing because I have purposely not intervened to see for myself the changes in you but you are quite normal and behaved normally as any shopper would. You have said that on previous occasions, since our treatment started, you got this urge when you were on your own. Why don’t I go and get a coffee and you go off on your own to the jewellery section and see what happens. I’ll wait for you here.” Alice pulled a face of surprise and went off to view some rings and bangles. She returned after forty minutes.
“Well, that was interesting Rupert, I viewed boxes and boxes of rings and didn’t feel the urge. The sales lady even got her manager to come and supervise and watch over me and I was as good as gold. I saw them scrutinising the returned boxes and all were intact. Now, you are underselling yourself. As you said initially, this was going to take time. Well thanks to you we have made progress. You just don’t know how relieved I am. Now, you are coming tomorrow for another session?” asked Alice.
“Sure, I still believe that you might have a relapse so I think you need to be on your guard at all times. If you don’t mind me asking do you have the same urge in other stores?”
“That’s the funny thing, I’m quite normal in other shops but I do like Harrods. Well, I will see you tomorrow. Finish your coffee and Harry will get me a cab home, bye.”
Rupert sat hugging his cold coffee thinking and getting no where. His thoughts were about mainly about Harry. He was sure that they had met before but he couldn’t remember when or where. His instincts told him that it was important to his present case but he couldn’t comprehend any connection between Harry, him and Alice. He pondered over this for a long while and decided to sleep on it.
He tossed and turned all night which was unusual for him so Rupert decided to get up and make himself a hot drink. Whilst sitting in the lounge he noticed his photograph albums and decided that looking through them might just jog his memory. It was an album at least fifteen years old where a picture suddenly jogged his memory. With some satisfaction he closed the album, made a note to himself, went back to bed and slept soundly for the rest of the night.
“Sir George, thank you for taking this call. I know how busy you are but I need to talk to you about your wife’s problem. I think I have a diagnosis and a solution,” said Rupert.
“Good afternoon, Rupert. I must thank you for what you have done. My wife is very pleased with the outcome.”
“Excuse me Sir George, I haven’t cured her problem but I think I know what is causing it. I have been racking my brain all last night and did a lot of research this morning and I’m afraid that the cause of the problem is that she is being re-hypnotised as she enters Harrods which gets her into that state, almost unconsciously.”
“So, she is doing this in a hypnotic state you say, so who is hypnotising her, do you know?” there was a long pause.
“What do you know about our doorman Harry?” asked Rupert. There was a long silence then Sir George answered.
“Harry was appointed by Harrod’s security people to monitor Alice and has done a fine job in getting her to give up her stolen goods. He has been keeping us sane. If this got out into unscrupulous hands, then it could easily ruin our careers. Harrods have been patient with us and in return we spend a lot of money with them. I suspected that Harry, with so much wealthy goods passing through his hands, may have been also helping himself to the so-called booty that Alice had taken.”
“So did you confront him?”
“Not directly. I had a Private Detective Agency do that for me and they discovered a hoard. Now Rupert, are you suggesting that Harry is hypnotising Alice as he ushers her in through the door?”
“I am Sir George, on the basis that I recognised him from a Conference of Hypnotists some fifteen years ago. I’ve researched his past as much as I could and found he had been struck off the Medical Register for some misdemeanour and hasn’t been in official practice. When I escorted Alice, I’m sure he recognised me even though he didn’t admit it. He and I were speakers at that conference you see. Although he has changed his appearance, I couldn’t mistake his size.”
“OK, this is a delicate matter for me and Alice. If I report it to the Harrods’ managers, then they will dismiss him and all hell would be let loose if he appeals or even tries blackmail. Could you pop around tonight and we can discuss this further. Bye.”
Few days later Harry, to his surprise, was promoted to Head of Security of the Inbound Goods Area at the store, with a substantial pay rise. A promotion he couldn’t refuse. Alice continued shopping at Harrods without the urge to pilfer. Everything was back to status quo.
