Judgement and Persuasion (unfinished)

“Hey Greg! Guess what? Guess the bloody great thing you’ve done for us?” shouted Robin as he burst into the open plan office, highly elated and confronted Greg, who was just opening his PC to check his Email. Looking around the office to catch other people’s attention and commandeering support. “Hey guys! Just come over here and listen to this!” shouted Robin waving his hands and getting people to crowd around Greg’s desk.

“Robin, just calm down! It’s Monday morning, I haven’t had time to start anything yet!” answered Greg looking rather startled as others crowded round the desk wondering what the fuss was.

“Hey guys, guess what Greg has just done for us? He’s just won the bloody lottery for us all, that’s what he’s done!  His line came up trumps and we’ve won some real money this week!” shouted Robin, “The split is about ten grand each folk thanks to Greg’s numbers.”

“Hey you’re joking!” somebody shouted.

“No, I’m bloody well not! That’s why I’m late. Got the girl to put the ticket in the machine four times and each time it confirmed the win,” shouted Robin grabbing one of the girls and dancing a jig around the office. “Look; here is the ticket. Go on, go on, go and check it somebody, if you don’t believe me,” as he gave the ticket to a girl as he jigged past and kissed her fully on the mouth.

“Hey Robin, what’s the share out?” somebody asked.

“Rough calculation is ten grand plus fifty-six pound and some six shillings and seven and a half pence or something. Here! Here is the official notice. Somebody work it out! I just can’t believe it. Good old Greg!”

“Robin how is it that Greg gave you a line?” asked a lady.

“Well Fred was away last week as you know and charged me with doing the lottery. Instead of the usual random choice I asked the people about in the office on Friday to give me their favourite numbers and Greg scrawled the winning line.” continued Robin as the buzz in the office got louder as the sheet of results got passed around.

“Not enough to give up the day job but we are all getting plastered this lunch time, all of us!” shouted a voice from the back.

“Break open the champagne!” shouted one of the girls.

“And the caviar! Bloody Beluga not the cod roe!” shouted another voice.

“We might as well pack up for today. Nobody’s going to do any work. Not after this!” shouted a voice.

Helen Maguire or ‘Maggie’ as she was commonly called, came over to Greg’s desk and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s that for!” asked Greg somewhat startled.

“Well, you deserve it. I can do with some extra lolly for the kids. This job hardly keeps them in jelly babies. What are you going to do with the money Greg?”

“Dunno! Probably splash out on a meal and change Helen’s car for a younger banger and stash the rest away in ISAs for a rainy day. What’s on your mind Maggie?”

“Probably the same but get the kids new bikes and Ella wants an electric guitar which I’ll get her for Xmas. ISAs seem a safe bet but I doubt I’ll have much left after paying off some debts.”

“Helen won’t allow us to get into debt. Goes back to her Methodist upbringing I reckon, but its nice have a nest egg.”

“You’re lucky. Since my divorce I’ve had to struggle to make ends meet and this job is getting me down, particularly the boss. He’s a real wanker! Doesn’t listen to anything we suggest then blames us if things go wrong. He always seems to follow the suggestions YOU warn him against though, quite uncanny.”

“What would you do if you packed this in Maggie?”

“Well, my background is Social Services, Greg. The Government is now trying to encourage outsourcing and there’s profit to be made in setting up an Agency to handle young difficult people.”

“Isn’t that a bit tough Maggie? I wouldn’t like to handle any of the youths you see on the streets today.”

“Individually they can be handled, especially if you can improve their future and get the Probation Officers and Case Workers off their backs. They are usually a bunch of overworked nerds who only care about the admin rather than real care for their charges. OK, must get back to work. Here comes the ‘Fuehrer’ on the warpath. Don’t want to cross him again.”

“See you lunch time Maggie, should be more interesting at the pub than just a curly sandwich!”

Greg clicked the mouse on the Email icon and watched the page format before him but his eyes weren’t focusing on the screen. His mind was reconstructing his past life and career. After University he had drifted from one mundane graduate training job to another. He had eventually found himself in Work Study, now in new terminology, Industrial Engineering. He enjoyed the variety and the problem-solving elements and quickly had progressed to a senior position which gave him a fair salary but not much spare at the end of the month. Helen had a part time teaching job which was a welcome supplement whilst the kids went through Primary School. The ten grand was going to help to ease the pain. He couldn’t see how he could get out of the rut. Maggie had touched a nerve and he should do something to get on a higher pay scale somehow.

His current Company wasn’t going to provide that. He needed to get out of this path and start searching for something better. After all he was quite successful here and all of his projects had been accepted by Unions and Management but the Fuehrer always took the applause. He was an arrogant bastard even though he pretended to be even handed.  At meetings he had the audacity to ask everybody for their opinion knowing full well he had decided which way they were going to go. Infuriating it was, especially that Greg had always warned him of the dangers of his proposed path although he put it diplomatically. His colleagues always marvelled how he always chose to comment on the plan the Fuehrer seemed to choose. It was uncanny but he always felt inside him that feeling, what others might call déjà vu that enabled him to predict exactly how the Fuehrer might turn. Even Maggie had referred to it just now.

I’ve read this page six times now and still haven’t taken it in. What the hell, might as well get on with my dreaming. Where was I? Ah yes thinking about the lottery win. Nobody cares about the lottery other than Fred and he just picks the Lucky Chance each week since no one in the office cares or even thinks of winning more than a minor prize. When Robin had come round last Friday, I was busy putting finishing touches to a project and he pestered for a line of numbers saying he was standing in for Fred. Having disturbed my concentration, I had gone of for a coffee, saw the last Saturdays Lottery winning line and scribbled some numbers on a corner of the old newspaper. They just seem to have jumped into my mind at the time and I handed them in. The twerp Robin had misread them otherwise we would have been in for the bonanza. Don’t go in for betting especially after the episode in Beverly. I was in the Uni. Air Squadron and flying circuits at Brough airfield when a flight came in from France with a couple of horses. 

That afternoon I had taken Helen on the back of the scooter to Beverly and to show off had taken her to the races. I noticed that the race card showed the two French horses running in two separate races and I remember musing that if the French had bothered to go to the expense of flying two nags to Beverly races, they must be good. With some bravado and lots of showing off to the new girl friend I placed the princely sum of twenty-five quid on each which amounted to the total of the second half terms grant. Helen thought I was mad and should have ditched me there and then but probably thought she would do that after a scooter lift back home. A practical girl was our Helen. I though I was mad too and spent the rest of the afternoon in torment waiting for the races to be over. Needless to say, the two French nags romped home and Helen stuck with me. The only downside was that instead of betting on the ‘nose,’ I took an ‘each way’ stake and being favourite to boot, I remember only getting my stake back and a few extra coppers. The agony of the wait wasn’t worth it and I remember secretly vowing not to gamble or bet ever again. The lottery in the office was just a loss leader and a social affair as far as I was concerned but was grateful for the current windfall.

“Gregory, have you a moment. My office in two minutes,” commanded the Fuehrer marching off in the direction of the coffee machine. This gave time for Greg to get his thoughts together and wondered what was in the air. He closed down his PC, picked up his pad and sauntered off to the ‘bunker’ as the Fuehrer’s office was aptly named.

“Come in and sit Gregory. Hear that the office has come into some luck. Hope we won’t see an exodus, eh!”

“I don’t think the shared amount is going to get us to give up our day job Mr. Cadman.”

“No, I don’t suppose it would come to that. I wanted to congratulate you on the performance last week with the Union. Didn’t think the Union would bite on that one. I didn’t give it a cat in hell chance but you seemed to have pulled it off. The Directors are pleased,” continued the Fuehrer looking rather smug. “I told them I had a good man on the job and we would pull through as usual. Thanks Gregory. How’s the main project shaping up?”

“Fine Mr. Cadman but the numbers aren’t very encouraging. We should sub the job out to the Far East rather than run it in house,” answered Greg considering what bonus the Fuehrer was going to get for the successful outcome of the last project and nothing would be passed down to the team.

“Don’t worry your pretty head over the numbers Gregory. Leave it to the bean counters. This is going to put the Company on the map. That’s the way we need to go Gregory.”

“Yes Sir but our exposure is going to be enormous and our workforce just isn’t up to it at the moment. Just the retraining is going to be expensive and I’ve already sourced a suitable manufacturer in China that can produce at a fraction of the cost and no or little cost on our part. No tooling up or training to consider.”

“Gregory, it’s not for you to lecture me on these things. The Directors are convinced and in fact your little study is of little consequence. In fact, just tidy it up for publication. I’ll do the conclusion. Spend minimum of time on that. Tell Maggie, the Project Leader to close up shop on this. Tell her I told you. Send that infernal Robin in.”

“Right you are Mr. Cadman,” answered Greg, rising from the seat and rapidly exiting the Bunker hoping that the bubble above his head saying ‘Arrogant Wanker’ couldn’t be read.

Five months later the Company announced a redundancy programme as a result of the expensive failure of the recent development. Unions and labour were blamed as usual and the Fuehrer kept his position although the project leader Maggie was doomed for the chop.

“Sorry to hear about the redundancy. What are you going to do? It wasn’t your fault, the failure. I told the Fuehrer that the sums didn’t add up but you know what an arrogant prick he is.”

“Don’t even concern yourself Greg. He’s done me a favour; I needed the push and the payout will help me to set up my Agency. You know the project I’ve been rabbiting on about for ages but never had the courage to go for it. The old bugger has done me a good turn.”

“Well, I wish you all the best for the future. I’m glad it’s proved a blessing for you rather than a disaster.”

“The old Fuehrer always had it in for me. Unlike you, I used to stand up against his grand and futile ideas. You’re too soft Greg. There’s no future here for you. Get out while the opportunity exists. There’s plenty of much better jobs out there for people of your calibre. Come on Greg, get out and get the redundancy money to boot. The offer is quite generous you know.”

“But I’m not on the list Maggie even though the kick up the bum would be welcome.”

“Greg, just go and see the old bugger and convince him to grant you voluntary redundancy which pays twice as much anyway.”

“I can’t see him giving way on that Maggie, I don’t really.”

“Greg, you can have him around your little finger if you tried a little. Look at Bill the Union leader. You had him eating out of your hand and we had all given up on that case. Go on Greg, you can do it. Look, the summer holidays are coming up. Why don’t enjoy the time off with Helen and the kids whilst looking for another job. You won’t be out of pocket anyway. If you have difficulty, you can come and work for me. I could do with somebody of your persuasive powers.”

“Thanks for the confidence but I’ve no background or training in that field.”

“No worries Greg. You can be a Director in charge of say, programming, finance and administration and I would do the hands on bit.”

“You’re too kind Maggie but thanks for the offer.”

“Hey I’m serious Greg. Please give me the honour of first refusal. Now into the breach dear boy, the Fuehrer has just entered his bunker. Go on Greg. Take the opportunity, don’t dither lad.”

The Fuehrer had granted Greg’s request and Greg had departed with a handsome payout and spent a splendid summer camping in France with the family. On their return Greg found his post box inundated with letters from Maggie pleading and ordering him to pay her a visit at her new Agency. A bronzed Greg in spanking health set off in good spirits to see his friend Maggie whilst Helen begged him to send off his CV’s to established Companies. She need not have worried because he returned that day with a job of no less than Director of Finance and Administration tucked under his belt with a salary to match. He didn’t disclose that it was only for a four-month trial, at his demand and the Agency only boasted a total of four employees. The position would start the following day with no delay and Helen was told to her relief that she was to put her full-time job on hold for the time being. 

Greg’s initial job was to be a general dogsbody, taking phone calls, making coffee and arranging meetings for the three Social Workers, to give them a generalised name. There was no problem in getting clients since the Social Services were stretched beyond breaking point and they were only too glad to offload their most problematic cases. As days progressed into weeks, Greg’s functions widened to find skilled people to administer to these miscreants and also to find them positions out in the commercial world for job experience or actual job placement. He seemed to have no problem persuading the managers to take on his clients and since their pay was subsidised by Social Services during their probation period, the managers could offset some of their risks and costs during the induction and training. Greg made sure that he took the youths to the interview and told them how to behave and work diligently. The initial feedback was very promising, particularly that most of these youths were on their tenth or more work placement and previously had shown no interest in any job whatsoever. This had been noted by Maggie and she felt confident that Greg’s talents would be an essential factor in the success of their business.

One day Maggie rushed into the main office in a state and confronted Greg demanding that he join her in the interview room to check out a new client that a Probation Officer was trying to foist on them. She looked scared and in need of moral support. He followed her into the interview room and was equally shocked by the sight that confronted him. The lad in question was frightening in the full horror film mode. He was huge, probably six foot six with a further extension of a lurid blood red Mohican hair style. His face was covered in tattoos and various chain piercing. He was clothed in black leather covered in insignia and more chains which clanked as he moved. The huge arms were covered in horrible tattoos and more chain arm bands. His fingers were encrusted with a mass of rings of knuckle duster proportions. The feet were clad in big black boots with shiny metal toe caps and the soles were again, thickened platforms encrusted with more studs. He was a huge frightening monster.

“Meet Daren,” said his minder with a smirk as he pointed to the apparition.

“Hi big fella,” said Greg sticking his had out to shake and considering that had been a foolish move, expecting his hand to be ground to pulp, instead his hand was gripped in a firm and confident handshake and released without any expected pain or discomfort. “You are a bit of a frightening sight you know Darren. You look as if you’ve just come off a film set. Anyway, let’s sit down and discuss what we can do for you.” The four sat down in the armchairs around a glass coffee table. Greg noted that Darren chose the seat without the arms to lower his bulk onto, amidst much clanking of chains, exposing a mass of tattoos on his huge calves above the black boots and up to his shortened leather leggings. Maggie slid Darren’s notes to Greg suggesting silently that he should continue conducting the interview.

“Any chance of a drink around here?” demanded Darren rather than asking, in a deep voice.

“What would like Darren, a beer, coke or other soft drinks? We have a selection in the fridge here,” continued Greg wondering where he should start as he opened the fridge next to him exposing a selection.

“I’ll have beer, the lager there,” demanded Darren.

“A beer for you Bill? I’ll have a coke and Orange for you Maggie?” as Greg put four cans on the table and slammed the fridge door shut. “I’m Greg by the way and this is the boss of this outfit Maggie.”

“Right,” uttered ‘the big fella’ with an imperceptible nod towards Maggie and Greg.

“Now Darren, this attire and set up of yours must be for a purpose other than scaring the shit out of people.”

“Yeah, I want to be a pop star!” as he flipped open his can and took a long slug.

“Well, that’s ambitious. At least you have a striking image. Do you play an instrument or sing?”

“Ah sings and plays ‘lectric’ guitar.”

“What kind of music Darren?”

“Well, Heavy Metal, Rock and stuff that I’ve made up meself.”

“You’ve had more words out of him in five minutes than I’ve had all week. I thought he could only grunt,” spouted out Bill, his probation officer whilst Darren gave him a look that would have withered lesser mortals.

“Bill, Maggie, I’m sure you have things to do. Please leave Darren with me to have a chat.”

“Are you sure Greg?” said Bill looking at Darren for some reaction.

“Come on Bill lets leave Greg to this one. We have lots of admin to sort out,” said Maggie dragging Bill out through the door. Bill grabbed his can of beer and departed with a sigh of satisfaction and getting away from this current charge.

“You don’t seem to get on with Bill?”

“He’s a bastard, worst of the bunch,” snarled Darren.

“How far have you come in your quest Darren?”

“What d’you mean? Oh, my rock music? Well, I haven’t got too far. Done lots of practice on my own stuff.”

“Have you done any gigs Darren. Played anytime for the public?”

“Yeah, Ah did an hour or so at the Dick Turpin couple of weeks ago but I was busted.”

“What do you mean Darren? Have you played anywhere else?”

“Well, some bastard spilt his beer over my amp so I pushed him away and his mates set upon me. I gave them a right going over. Lots of GBH and no pub will take me on now.”

“You’ve still got your guitar and things Darren?”

“No, they were bust up at the pub. That how I’ve got Bill the PO on my case. The Beak put me on probation since he thought that six guys setting on me was bit unfair.”

“So, you haven’t got a guitar now?”

“No, but ah compose mah own stuff on the piano. Go to St. John’s Hall, use their piano whenever I want to.”

“Don’t they object you just turning up?”

“Nah, there just scared shitless of me and leave me alone.”

“There must be a funny side to this somewhere?”

“The Vic once sidled up and asked if ah and me mates could lift the piano onto stage like. So ah did it me self.”

“What, can you lift a piano up by your self Darren?”

“Nah, don’t be daft. Ahs lifted one end up then t’other. No probs Guv. They close the curtains now when I’m there. Cleaner brings me a cup of tea now and again.”

“So you also play the piano Darren? Can you read music?”

“Nah, just plonk about. Know a few cords and can tinkle a tune with me right hand.”

“How to do remember the tunes? Do you write them down?”

“Nah, just in me ed Guv. Don’t read or write.”

“Sounds to me Darren that you’ve got your road to stardom all in a mess, you need to get all of your ducks in a row. Do you know what I mean? You need to read to check your contract and things.”

“Ah knows but the teachers are too scared to teach me. They just won’t come back a second time.”

“I can believe that Darren. I’m a bit scared of you now! You know what you should do if you want to keep a teacher?” asked Greg as Darren raised a bushy eyebrow full of metal rings and spikes, in query. “You should scare the teachers to stay with you instead.”

“That’s a good one Guv.”

“Look Darren, I don’t know if you have got talent or not, but you seemed to have persevered. Would you mind if I asked you to sing for me?”

“What, here?”

“Yes Darren, something you have composed yourself.”

“OK Guv, but al have to stand,” said Darren as he heaved his clanking bulk up and stood back taking a pose. He started tapping his left foot and got a clanking beat from the chains. He then took up his air guitar, started to strum sounding off a few chords and broke into a loud melodic cacophony. The song finished dramatically with the ‘guitar’ being thrust into the air in a salute.

“Well, you have a strong voice Darren. Can’t say it’s my kind of music. You mentioned Rock before. Can you sing something a bit more melodic, something I can recognise, Darren.”

“OK Guv, how about some’ink by Elvis, but ah don’t do impressions!” and he broke into a recognisable rendering of ‘Blue Suede Shoes” with lot of gestures and accompanying clanking.

“Well, you have a good strong voice Darren and you can keep a tune. I’m not one to judge how good you are but I reckon you have something maybe. I know what. Come back here tomorrow and I’ll bring my son’s electric guitar and amp along and you can show me how you play. OK?”

“OK Guv, it’s a deal.”

“We’ll see you before lunch tomorrow, Darren,” as Darren made for the door. “I’ll see you out Darren. Don’t want you frightening the office staff.”

“Hey Greg, can we have a minute!” asked Maggie pointing to her office. “Corr you were wonderful with that monster that Bill brought in. Wasn’t he frightening? I can’t remember a time when I was as frightened as in his presence. Maybe the time in front of the Headmistress at junior school when I was caught cheating.”

“Maggie, he frightened me too and I don’t know what possessed me to shake his hand. I thought it would turn to mince meat in those huge hands of his, plus all the metal rings.”

“Well, you certainly tamed the beast. I have to admit that when Bill and I left the room we went next door and eves dropped. Glass to the wall thing you know but he was loud and clear throughout. When he started singing the whole office stopped work. You’ve proved it again Greg, you have this talent or genius of persuading people to do things for you. That’s the very reason I was desperate to hire you. You get things done Greg and we have Darren on our books. Bill was eager to get him off his back.”

“There was something about Darren that impressed me Maggie. He has worked hard at it to get such a threatening and aggressive appearance. It’s bloody effective. I bet nobody messes with him much.”

“For the moment Darren is all yours Greg. You work on him. Do what you can and remember in his case, money is no object to get him turned round.”

“But Maggie, I’m not trained for the Social bit like you lot.”

“By your results Greg, you are more competent than most of ‘Our Lot.’ That reminds me what I really wanted to see you about. We have four Social Workers, three I recruited and one you hired since he came late for the interview. My three are hopeless geeks and not making much progress. They see the Agency as a gravy train. Now your guy who I would have passed over is totally different. He’s diligent, conscientious and has turned into the model Social Worker we need. You’ve worked your magic on him.”

“I only talked to him and pointed out the virtues we needed in a candidate, from the crib sheet you gave me.”

“Well from now on you can do the interviewing and please have a fatherly chat to my three and see if you can turn them around to our way of thinking, otherwise they are out after their three months probation. We can’t afford passengers on our bus. We need drivers and conductors if we are going to be successful.”

“I’ll have a word with them, a sort of friendly progress review. Give me a copy of your crib sheet so I have something to work off.”

“Greg, your Darren is sitting on the wall outside, on the opposite side of the road and he’s frightening the passers by. They are crossing the street to avoid him and all he’s doing is snarling at them.”

“Why is it ‘My Darren’ all of a sudden? You are the guys with all the training to handle such misfits. OK, I’ll go and bring him up and give him a coffee. He’s keen though. It’s half ten and he’s not due to be here for a couple of hours.”

“Sit your self down Darren. I’ll get you a coffee if you like. You’re a bit early.”

“Ahs nowt to do so came down. Gizz a fag!”

“Sorry Darren but I don’t smoke. You shouldn’t be smoking either, bad for your voice.”

“OK Guv.”

“Now I have some work to do. I’ll leave you the guitar and you can practice but be careful with it. It’s my lads and he’ll kill me if it’s broken.”

“No probs Guv, I knows how to handle a guitar.” 

“Don’t use the amp Darren. Bit too noisy to use in here and those people out there have work to do. OK Darren, I’ll bring you a coffee. How do you take it?”

“Black, two sugars, ta.”

Not a lot of work was done in the office that morning. Not that the noise was too loud it was just everyone was interested to see what Darren would get up to left on his own. Some thought the place would be wrecked others just shivered in their boots at the thought of him getting out into the main office. At about half eleven Greg went back to see Darren to find him engrossed in working out some complicated riff and quite oblivious to anything and anyone. Having finished and satisfied with the piece Darren looked up and nodded a greeting to Greg.

“Hi Darren, I’m all yours till lunch time. I think we need to find somewhere else for you to play. It would disturb too many people here. Any suggestions?”

“Yeh, bandstand in the park.” 

“But we need electricity for the amp.”

“No probs Guv. There’s electric there and if not, I can tap into a lamppost.”

“That’s enterprising. You lead the way and I’ll carry the amp. Darren, I hope you don’t mind me asking but you had a tattoo of a howling wolf on your left arm but its gone now?”

“They’re not real Guv. Change them as ah like. Ye get this silk like with wax on it. Yer then scratch a pattern and then ink it on with special ink.”

“Kind of silk screen printing. That’s clever and all the time you had me thinking of you going under the needle for hours. I think you’re a fraud Mr Darren!” as Darren gave his first ever smile.

It was a nice sunny day with lots of people cutting through the park and the pensioners in groups enjoying the sun as Darren set himself up on the empty bandstand and Greg sat a fair distance away on the chairs set out for the daily afternoon concert. 

“What do yah want us to play Guv?”

“Play a selection Darren, some of your own stuff and some more melodic numbers that I can get a hang of.”

“OK Guv, here goes!” and he left fly a half crazed banshee song that at least got half the park crowded around to see what the hell was going on.

“Somebody should do some thing about it!” was a comment frequently uttered by the curious audience. Who the ‘Somebody’ was, nobody ventured to disclose.

“Are you with him? He can’t go on like that!” uttered a grumpy old timer leaning on a stick.

“Are you going to tell him?” asked Greg.

“Not bloody likely. Just look at the size of him!”  

At this moment Darren broke off the banshee wailing and started on a well-known Eddie Cochrane number. The passing people stopped to listen and even the grumpy fellow half perched on the seat to listen but not to be caught listening and approving the ‘infernal racket’. As Darren switched to his own numbers the audience quickly depleted but gathered on the more traditional Rock numbers. Even Darren noticed the audience reaction and was wise enough to reduce the number of his own composition. By the end of the hour there was quite a gathering on the seats, munching their lunches and a regular number of passers by stopping to hear a number. The music was somewhat thin given a small amp and speaker but Darren’s voice made up for it. 

Eventually Greg signalled the ‘cut-throat’ sign for Darren to stop and added a ‘Sandwich munching’ sign to show it was time for lunch.

“Quite a show you put on Darren. Thanks, I enjoyed it. Couldn’t make head or tail of your stuff but you will have to educate me on that sometime.”

“Thanks for the kit, Guv. Say ‘Hi’ to your lad.”

“He doesn’t know Darren, but thanks for the thought. Now let’s go to the Turpin for a bite. You must be thirsty after all that singing.”

“Could do with a pint but not the Turpin Guv.”

“Sorry Daren, don’t understand. Don’t you want to be seen with me in there?”

“Ahm banded from there cos that’s where I had the aggro on my last gig Guv.”

“Look, I’ll vouch for you and you’re my guest,” said Greg picking up the amp and leading the way. Greg ordered a pint of larger for Darren, an orange juice for himself and a strange looking filled bun from behind the glass counter. Darren ordered two large pork pies and six sachets of mustard. By the time the food came Greg got Darren another pint since his first went down with out touching the sides.

“How’s it going Liddle Darren? Do you need any stuff?” asked a passing youth.

“Am OK Chas, see yah!”

“Hey, are you into drugs Darren?”

“Isn’t everybody Guv?”

“Well, no, not everybody. Hey, didn’t he call you ‘Little Darren’?”

“Yeh cos ahm t’youngest.”

“How many more at home then?”

“Four brothers and two sisters.”

“Are they all as big as you?”

“Nah, ahm the biggest sod though rest of em are bad uns. You ask the local Fuz.”

“Darren, you seem to have all the vices of a pop star but as yet lack the stardom,” said Greg laughing and got a sort of grin from Little Darren.

“Look Darren, I’ve looked at your report and you seem to be conning the system well but regular drugs cost money. You get dole money but how the hell did you get Disability Allowance?”

“Just asked and buggers just didn’t dare refuse me.”

“Mobility Allowance?”

“Don’t drive.”

“Housing Benefit?”

“Ah lives at home.”

“It adds up to quite a bit but regular drugs get expensive.”

“Don’t pay for drugs, catch a new pusher and ask him for a big load. He asks to see the readies and ahs pull out me roll. Look, fifty on top around paper. He gets the stuff and I tell him to bugger off.”

“But haven’t the dealers, the big men cottoned on to your scam?”

“Aye but they encourage it. Ties the pusher into them you see. They owe.”

“You should give up drugs Darren. No good for your health, particularly given your size.”

“Right Guv.”

 

“How do you think that went in the park then Darren?” asked Greg as third pint disappeared the same way.

“Alright Guv. Audience didn’t like my stuff though.”

“Well, you noticed that at least and adjusted your repertoire to suit your audience. Did you notice the two dear old ladies jiving to one of your Elvis numbers?”

“Ay, but that’s the last gig I’ll do in this town.”

“Look Darren, if I arrange a gig for you would you be up for it? Would you be interested?”

“Course I would, not stupid you knows!” 

“Barman, can you call the landlord over here please. Need a word with him. Thanks”

“What’s he doing in here, he’s banned.”

“It’s OK Landlord, he’s with me and he’s not here to cause you any trouble.”

“Frightens the customers, that’s what he does!”

“Look, I understand that the last gig didn’t go down very well and there was some trouble. Not started by Darren you understand.”

“Don’t bloody care who started it. It cost me a pretty packet to put the place to rights. Now drink up and be off with you.”

“I have a proposition for you and it could be to your advantage. I’m with the Agency just down the road and Darren here is in my charge. If you would allow him to do another, say half hour gig, free of charge of course and the agency would pay the wages of a couple of your minders to guard the stage area. What do you think?”

“I don’t know but who will pay for any damage if there is a fracas?”

“Don’t worry, there won’t be any and the Agency will pay if there is. If you do this then the Agency will ensure you get good publicity in the local rag.”

“OK then, but it will have to be next Monday night. It’s quiet then.” 

“How the hell did yah pull that off Guv. He was giving ya the ‘bugger off’ sign at the start! You’re a bloody genius Guv, you are!”

“Now about equipment. Where can we get you a guitar, amp and speakers?”

“No probs Guv. Can hire all, that only need some readies.”

“Look Darren, I have a feeling that you will do OK. The Agency will fund you for this gig but you’ll be on your own after this. Do you understand?”

“Ta Guv.”

“Now Darren, I’ve arranged for someone to teach you how to write music so that you can score your own tunes. Also, I have arranged another bloke to teach you how to write so that you can do the words to your music. Now don’t scare them off. I’ll arrange a room at the office for you and you can have as many lessons as you can fit in, all paid for of course.”

“Bloody genius you are Guv.” 

   

“Greg, need a word but not in here. Walls have ears. Turpin in five, OK?”

“It’s a bit rough in there Maggie?”

“Yeah, but it’s quiet now and we won’t be disturbed.”

“Look Greg, you’ve worked wonders on our staff. They are all working the right way and doing the ‘right things right’ rather than ‘Wrong things right’. And since you’ve started giving our ‘inmates’ a pep talk, the staff say they are as good as gold. They are all admitting they can handle bigger workloads.”

“Yes, I was going to mention that subject. I’m too busy now talking or giving pep talks as you call them to do the Admin side as I used to.”

“Bugger the Admin side Greg you just keep doing what your best at. You have a magic gift so bloody well use it. You are working wonders!”

“That brings me to another point. Why don’t we bring the new clients together, say once a week? It will be more efficient and less repetition for me. Also get your experts to draw up what points I should make to turn the lost causes into model citizens of the Realm.”

“Good idea Greg. I’ll have them work on it straight away and we will take on new people onto our books at intervals. I’ll get onto the Chief to arrange that.”

“Since we are taking on more and more work Maggie, we need bigger premises to house our own Social Professionals and also meeting rooms and teaching centres. I’ve got wind of a place nearby where the Council are moving out. You should take a look Maggie.”

“You’re right Greg but let me get this off my chest. This is why I brought you here away from prying eyes and ears to bring this up. What the hell is this?” shouted Maggie as a youth slid into the booth and threatened Greg with a carpet knife. “Giz your money or al slit yer!” the youth hissed. Greg just looked at him in annoyance and told him to bugger off and leave them in peace. The youth gazed at Greg, blinked, put his knife away and slid off and away.

“There you go! You’ve done it again. You’re a bloody genius Greg. You’ve got something, something persuasive that makes people do what you say. That was living proof. I’d love to repeat that, well maybe not.”

“Maggie don’t go on about it. It’s embarrassing me. I know I have a knack of persuading people but and don’t want to dwell on it or draw attention to it. I don’t feel comfortable, almost a freak.”

“Don’t underestimate the value of your ability Greg. It’s almost as if you instantly hypnotise people and get them to do your bidding. Let’s call it leadership skills and its great for our business apart from one big problem we have.”

“What’s that Maggie? Money?”

“Got it in one! We have expanded the business so quickly that the payments from the Probation Services and Social are behind our outgoings in wages and rents. We need an injection of capital to sort out our cash flow. The bank is threatening to cut our overdraft and their charges are crippling us.”

“I suppose delaying mine and your salary for the month may help?”

“It’s too big for that and you know how the Council delay paying their bills and I don’t want to another investor to come in and take a slice of our business, no way!”

“Do you want me to go and work some of my magic on the Councils Maggie?”

“Not a joking matter Greg. These Authorities have a system which you cannot buck. We’ll get the money but three months later. We need cash now. I don’t want to invite investors and give up a share of our business knowing that the money tap will eventually start to flow.”

“I can raise some ten grand in savings Maggie but I reckon that’s only a drop in the ocean.”

“Thanks, but you’re right, we need lots more to pay the wages and rent and furnish new premises. Now Greg I have a proposition. You’ll think I’m crazy but I have a feeling that we can tap into another one of your abilities, what every body refers to your ‘Good judgement’. I watched you. I’ve watched you pore over some past papers and then come up with a solution that’s acceptable. May not be the best but one that gets approved. A sixth sense you might call it but you have it. Now to get to my point, the Lottery win was not just some lucky strike, it was your sixth sense, judgement, or ability to see into the future that got that prize. You wrote the numbers on a scrap of newspaper torn off in our coffee room. I picked it up from Robin’s waste bin. I needed the number of a plumber listed. I recognised your scrawl and that prick Robin had copied the last two numbers down wrongly. We’d have won the jackpot if he’d followed your line. I checked. Now please Greg can you do the same for us now, to help us through this crisis. You need to!”

“Look Maggie, I appreciate that you have kept this to yourself and that’s the way I want it but, yes, I do get an uncanny feeling about the future, which always astounds me as being correct but trying to win the lottery is not something I can do Maggie. The previous result was just luck, I’m sure.”

“Greg, I promise never to disclose my thoughts about your abilities but please just try one more time for me, for you, for all those poor sods we are trying to improve their lives, get them out of the crime and poverty trap. Please Greg, get us out of this crisis!”

“Well, who’s doing the ‘Persuasive’ bit then? You’re really hitting at my social conscience you know.”

“Greg, I’ve brought last Sunday’s paper with the Lottery results. Just study them as you do and see if any numbers come to your mind for this Saturday.”

“OK, if you insist but it’s your money for the ticket and don’t come blabbing when it’s all gone to some good cause. OK the numbers that come to mind are ‘forty,’ ‘twenty-one,’ ‘sixteen,’ ‘thirty-two,’ ‘seventeen’ and ‘nineteen.’ Do you want any more?”

“Don’t joke Greg. I need the Bonus number.”

“Thirty-two.”

“Thanks, I’m going to put a tenner on those numbers.”

“Make it a fiver Maggie and give a fiver to your girls. Far better use. Can we get back now? Lots to do, drink up. All this adulation is making me nervous.”

 Sunday lunchtime Greg received a text message from Maggie, ‘Meet u mon 4 breakfast Middleton. Secret exec meeting.’ Greg grunted to himself in reply and thought that this just wasn’t the time to splash out on breakfast when they were up to their ears in financial yogurt, but it might be better than a rushed coffee and cornflakes whilst getting the kids off to school, might be something to look forward to as long as Maggie wasn’t going to be melodramatic.

Monday morning the kids got a treat of being taxied to school and then Greg continued on to the manicured grounds of the Middleton Hall. He was a tad early but what the hell, they served good coffee and he could catch up on the daily papers. He parked his car and strolled through the rose garden, past an elaborate fountain and up the broad steps to the restaurant. To his surprise he was expected and shown to a table set out on its own in a bay window that had obviously been booked for its discreet position. She must want to talk about something important again, something more important than at the previous venue of the Turpin. The waiter hovered whilst Greg settled himself down in the plush armchair and ordered coffee and the ‘Independent’. He liked the ‘Times’ but Helen insisted on the ‘Guardian’ so they took a week turn about. The waiter was still hovering and offering Greg a menu of their coffees. 

“Fair Trade Peruvian please, on the strong side and I’ll have in a cafetiere, enough for say three cups please.”

“Yes, Sir and shall I take your order when your guest arrives?”

“Yes, that will be fine, I’m a bit early,” he replied, glancing around his plush surroundings and noting that the dining room was full but the tables so spaced out that you hardly noticed. The waiters glided about silently as if on casters. There was an occasional chink and maybe a rustle of a newspaper but there was a comfortable hush to the surroundings. He was suddenly brought to his senses from his musings by the waiter placing his newspaper gently on the table plus a pink copy of ‘The Financial Times.’ So that’s the clientele I’m mixing with here he thought.

He hadn’t even noticed that the waiter had brought and set out the coffee, plus a couple of small croissants which seemed rather welcome even though not ordered.

“Shall I pour Sir? I did bring hot milk should you need it.”

“Thanks, I’ll have mine black, please,” replied Greg as hot coffee streamed into a delicate china cup giving off an agreeable aroma. The waiter glided off as silently as he appeared, making Greg imagine that they were provided with skate shoes that were his daughters favourite toy for the present. He tasted the coffee and found it more than good and nibbled at a croissant, noting that butter and preserve, not jam, had been provided in tasteful dishes rather than glass jars, straight off the supermarket shelves. He got back to an intriguing article on Global Warming, sipping his coffee and taking delicate bites out of a croissant.

He was onto his second cup, poured magically by a waiter and was pondering whether to attack the other croissant when he sensed someone approaching. It was Maggie, looking more resplendent than usual, being escorted by the Major Domo. The magical waiter appeared and placed a second cup on the table. He was about to rise in greeting when Maggie rushed up, grabbed his head in both hands and planted a kiss on his forehead, forcing him to sit. She lowered herself into the accompanying armchair proffered by the Major Domo and smiled at Greg in a mischievous way. On seeing the spare croissant, she grabbed it, broke off a piece and stuffed it in her mouth, which delayed her uttering verbal greeting. Greg managed to secure the cafetiere before the waiter pounced and poured her a coffee as she grabbed for the hot milk jug. Having swallowed her mouthful, she pointed to the croissants as the waiter nodded discreetly and acknowledged the order.

“Why Good Morning, Miss Maggie, Fancy meeting you here?” jested Greg.

“Fabulous, eh? Better place to discuss important matters than the Turpin. I bet there’s no chewing gum on the seats?”

“I don’t think chewing gum has reached this neck of the woods. I wish you wouldn’t put so much milk in with that coffee. You’re ruining it.”

“Greg, my diet is instant and I wouldn’t know a good coffee if it hit me. What’s this reading the ‘Independent” and ‘The Financial Times’?  I though you were a ‘Guardian’ whaller?”

“Some thing different for a change, nice to see what slant they put, on news in the ‘Times’. Shall we order or do you want to polish off the croissants first?”

“Let’s order and we can talk whilst we are waiting. I’m famished,” replied Maggie as she pounced on the remains of Greg’s croissant, smearing it thickly with jam, sorry, preserve. The waiter took their order making polite suggestions to add to their experience there.

“OK Maggie, what’s the point of this high life? Is it to go down with the sinking ship?”

“Don’t be so fatalistic Greg. It doesn’t go with your lifestyle,” uttered Maggie looking quite agitated in an excited way. “Did you check the Lottery results on Saturday night? Did you check the numbers you gave me?”

“Why should I? I can’t even remember the numbers I gave you. Is this what this meeting is about, Lottery numbers?”

“Greg, you are impossible. I just cannot understand how you can just sit there and not know. You just don’t understand or believe in your incredible ability.”

“OK, we’ve won a couple of hundred and you’re splashing it all out on a fabulous breakfast.”

“Greg, listen carefully for ‘I shall only zey zis once’!” said Maggie putting on her best French accent. “You have just won us the Jackpot, in fact five Jackpots plus some odds and sods. I put down ten quid’s worth with five lines using your numbers and five lines substituting one or two. Listen Greg, you’re looking as if you don’t believe me. It’s true! The Jackpot was worth three point two million and there were eight winners and we have five of the lucky lines!”

“Maggie quieten down. People will start looking.”

“Sorry Greg but can’t help being excited. You’ve just solved all of our problems in one stroke. Greg if you are so concerned then you can have it all and do what you like with it.”

“Maggie, it’s not that. It’s just I feel a freak being able to predict the numbers like that. Please, please don’t mention this to anyone. Just tell them you did it off your own bat.”

“Look Greg, I will do anything you like. That’s why I arranged this meeting. I knew you would be a bit uncomfortable but I just needed to celebrate. Now what do you want to do with the money? It’s all yours Greg.”

“Look Maggie, I don’t want to do anything with it. It’s all yours! You won it so do what you feel right for you.”

“Come on Greg, I want us all to benefit from it. Firstly, to get over our financial predicament and then do what we want with the rest. You could do with a bit more and I’m sure that Helen would appreciate a new house, car and be a full-time mum.”

“No Maggie, I can’t have that! It will all blurt out and make my life a misery. Let’s put it in a bank account and pretend its some benevolent benefactor investing in our Company. You set this up and I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“I can do that Greg but let me suggest that since our Company is doing so well on paper now, then we should pay ourselves an interim bonus of say thirty thousand or more.”

“No, that’s too much, make it ten. I can explain that away to Helen who is always pestering me to get on in my career.”

“That’s fine by me Greg, but I have already made a surprise provision for next weekend,” said Maggie with a wink as fleet of waiters descended upon them with silver salvers of breakfast. Greg requested that they serve themselves since the amounts looked somewhat over generous.

“Listen Greg, we had agreed to come over to dinner with you on Saturday and the girls were doing their sleep over, so I know that you are free this weekend. Instead, I have booked the weekend for us at Centre Parks with a mini bus to take us there and ferry us about. Call it ‘bonding’ and we can pretend that we have some important decisions to make so it’s all on the Company expenses.”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ve already texted your Helen of our plan and we shall depart Friday lunchtime.”

“You’re getting ahead of me on this but I agree Helen would appreciate a break. She works too hard as a part timer and the kids will love it. By the way, I do have some ideas of what we should use the surplus cash for.”

“Go on Greg. You are the ideas man and the one who get things done.”

“Right, you know we mentioned getting new premises and the old Council building is up for re-let. I have already made enquiries but the Council want to rent out the whole building to one tenant. It’s too big for us at the moment and the rent would have been crippling but now we could get it and maybe sublet any surplus space.”

“Get onto it straight away Greg. And don’t forget our idea of setting up a crèche so that the mums can study or even go to work if necessary.”

“Also, you know that speculative development of posh flats being proposed down by the canal. Why don’t we buy a whole block to provide Social accommodation for our homeless clients? You know how desperately short the Council is for accommodation for the people we deal with. Well, we could solve their problem in one stroke.”

“Aren’t they a bit posh for our purposes?”

“Why not Maggie? Why should they be stuck into some sub-standard grotty Council houses? You know my views about the horrors of the housing that the Councils have provided in the past.”

“You can convince me if you like, but hell Greg, you have never worked your charms on me. Why is that? I could do with some direction with my life.”

“Look Maggie you don’t need any pointers and I don’t want to rule your life. The people we get on our books are different. They need a kick up the arse and showing the way to behave as law abiding citizens.”

“Thanks and no thanks Greg, but could you have a word with my two little monsters. They are driving me to despair and their child minder is going to quit if they don’t change. Your two are so beautifully behaved, I’m ashamed.”

“OK Maggie I’ll have a word with them on the quiet this weekend. Now eat up, we don’t want to let all this food go to waste.”

“I’m too excited to eat but I agree it would be a shame not to do this spread some justice. Bon appetite!”

A year on, the agency had expanded into its new premises and was now offering a range of services to its underprivileged clients such as careers advice, financial planning and support, classes in motherhood for it’s under aged mothers and lots of support services.  The prison services had been so impressed with their results with their ‘graduates’ that they wanted the Agency to take over and run a prison for them. They put a deposit on the new block of flats but in their excitement the developers wanted to blow their own trumpet and highly publicised the deal. The local paper got to the bottom of the issue and let the cat out of the bag and let it be known that the block would house the Councils riffraff and Social Housing claimants. All further purchasers withdrew their monies on the other two blocks and the developers were left with potentially two empty buildings on their hands. Greg took the opportunity to make a deal with them to purchase the remaining two blocks at favourable rates, with more publicity of a better kind for the developers that they were building ‘Social housing for the local community.’ 

At regular intervals Greg and Maggie paid themselves substantial bonuses out of the winnings which were now being replenished by regular payments kicking in from the various Social Authorities that had been farming out their worst cases to the Agency. Maggie and Greg were now handing over much of the running of the Agency to competent employees and concentrating on policy decisions and expansions. Their success and almost one hundred percent success rate with their clients had caught the eyes of the various Authorities who wanted to copy their system and use it as a blueprint or benchmark for their own endeavours. Greg and Maggie put it all down to clear direction and wonderful staff, with no mention of Greg’s persuasive powers. Other larger agencies, particularly from the US had more predatory eyes on the business and wanted to buy them out with ever increasing offers.

“Hey Greg, I’ve had several requests and ideas from our staff and clients that the real cause of their initial demise into crime and other unsavoury things was largely caused by their desperate family life and background. I had a girl in my office just now in tears that the family was trying to get her into the family pick pocketing business and she was under threat from her father. She pleaded with me that we have a word with him. It makes sense to get the family totally involved in most cases. I know, up to now we’ve concentrated on individuals and supporting them. That’s what we get paid for but it seems we should branch out and get whole families involved.”

“OK Maggie, take a breath. That was quite a lecture now what do you propose?”

“Well, I’ve just had a word with Eddie, the girl’s case worker and he suggested we run a trial of say a hundred people. Take over the rugby club, put on a good spread to bring the punter in and you give them one of your persuasive pep talks, how about it Greg?”

“Well, it would work but you’ll have to ensure that the whole family unit attends, i.e. all members that live in the house hold. Can you ensure that?”

“Well Eddie reckons that given the notion of free food and booze they’ll flock in. No probs.”

“OK, who’s going to organise it?”

“I’ll get Eddie to get a team together to do that. I’ll also get them to select the families. He’s very clever lad is our Eddie, the only thing is he always likes surprises. We’d better watch out for them.”

“Oh, whilst you’re here Maggie, let me update you on the first block of flats which is being occupied now. You know I organised the three blocks to be a kind of gated community.”

“Yeh, to keep the undesirables out rather than jail the occupants I suppose.”

“That’s right and I’ve appointed a porter or gatekeeper to police the flats and keep an eye, mainly on the visitors.”

“Who have you appointed?”

“Well, it’s Ralf and family. You know the big bruiser who used to like to beat up Policeman for fun. Just his reputation is sufficient to keep peace and anyway, he’s a changed character but who is going to believe it.”

“What’s happening with the other two blocks?”

“They are due to be finished in a couple of months and all rooms have been allocated. The Council have agreed to fund the rents and our benefactor will make up any deficiencies.”

“The Council have come out smelling of roses on this one even though they were against the idea in the beginning. Hey, whose idea was to involve the Scandinavian giant to furnish the places at cost?”

“One of your girls, Joyce, she came with the idea that we get some designers in, even run a competition to furnish the flats well but cheaply and she arranged a meeting.”

“I know what happened next. You go and persuade the Chairman to do the whole thing at cost in return for the publicity. Am I wrong there Greg?”

“It was a piece of cake. He’s been invited to the public opening to do the honours and take the credit for coming up with the idea and execution. Hey Maggie, I saw the American sleaze bag from Delf Agency in your office the other day. Has he upped his offer yet?”

“Oh yeah, the offer is up but won’t budge on our pension pot.”

“Look Maggie, just keep stringing him along. I just get worried that one day I’m going to lose my ability or gift as you call it and then we need to do a fast exit. Total evacuation. Do you understand?”

“Oh, I understand and since you are even predicting it at this time, then it will happen Greg. I have total faith in your predictions even if they work against us. Greg, if that happens then let me know in good time and we’ll get out with a big pot and pretend to do some free lance consultancy work but be never available. We could retire now on what the sleazebag is offering and our initial stake is still intact. I’ll work on the Pension package just in case. Don’t worry Greg, we are well provided for if it comes to the crunch. I shall start planning my early retirement and start enjoying life.”

A fortnight later on Saturday, the rugby club was packed with a rude assortment of people. The local Police no doubt, had them all listed on their books as regular infringers of the law. The noise was terrific and the ushers were having a major job of keeping a semblance of control. The ushers were Agency clients who had brought their families along and they were looking grossly embarrassed by the antics of their families particularly the young kids. Eddie the organiser and his team looked highly worried and spent most of the time protecting the stage area from marauding kids trying to get at the public speaking system. Suddenly at the appointed time a huge frightening monster appeared on stage and yelled. Little Darren had lost none of his frightening aspects and a sudden hush descended on the rowdy populace as they looked up to him on the stage for the next move. He picked up the microphone and hissed menacingly at the audience who were all attention. 

“Hey hush now and listen carefully! Yer might just learn somink here. This geezer here is Greg. When he’s finished with yer and yer listen good then there’s food and drink in the tent out there and ah shall entertain yer. So, listen good!” he hissed menacingly and everyone listened to him with their eyes fixed on Darren and hardly any one noticed Greg as he stood in the background until Darren grabbed him by the shoulder and seemingly bodily lifted him to the front of the stage. “Now listen good!” he warned them as he handed the mic to Greg and shook a fist at the audience. 

“Thanks for the introduction, Darren. You’re still as frightening as ever. Welcome to our meeting folks. I hope it will be useful for you, so listen carefully,” and he launched into his pre-prepared spiel which was supposed to transform these vagabonds and petty crooks into upright law-abiding citizens. Maggie standing at the back had full confidence in him and was sure he could do it and for the first-time paid attention to his speech and was totally mesmerised as were the audience, who listened spell bound.

Forty minutes later he finished by inviting them all to take part in the food provided and the audience applauded him graciously and in an orderly fashion, filed out into the marquee outside. Greg cornered Eddie the organiser of the affair and begged him never to pull such a surprise on him again. Not with Little Darren. In the marquee, the families were ushered to their seats around tables in family groups, behaving in a highly civilised manner compared with the mayhem before. Their sons and daughters became waiters and served them with a sumptuous meal with drinks and all behaved themselves impeccably as Little Darren and his group entertained them with some surprisingly melodic and quiet music. Later Darren sought out Greg and told him of his progress in the music industry. He had a small and faithful following for his own particular brand of music which he expounded at the Turpin every Monday night and then did further money-making gigs, playing more traditional Rock. He probably wasn’t going to break into the big time but was making a healthy living and even introduced Greg to his long-term girlfriend, who was a striking beauty in the punk style.

“We have a formula Greg if you can just get through the agony of the preliminaries. Our boys and girls are ecstatic by the success and no doubt will be flooding you with appreciation.”

“Thanks Maggie. Darren frightened the life out of me but he has the same persuasive powers in a different style. We need to use him on future occasions to bring the house to order but I wish Eddie had warned me he was using Darren. I’m still shaking with fear. Did you see the way he brought me up the front?”

“It was certainly heart in mouth experience for you and for the rest of us who watched you being plucked bodily and plonked down at the front of the stage.”

“He didn’t hurt me but I shall be better prepared in future. Maggie, I saw you in the audience concentrating on my speech. What do you think of it?”

“Greg, you have changed my life completely. I took it all in and feel better for it just as your audience did. Just look at them. Apart from their weird and scruffy apparel they look like a sample of model citizens you could ever wish for. Look no shouting or screeching. They are polite and talking nicely to each other. No food being thrown around and the beer is being consumed in responsible quantities. Look at the kids! You have worked wonders on them just as you did the miracle treatment on mine.”

“I’m sorry Maggie I didn’t mean to have an influence over you. It was too late for me to get you out once I’d noticed you were there.”

“Don’t worry Greg, you have done me a favour and I’m most grateful to you. I feel so different now, so positive and so keen to get on with life. You have a wonderful gift Greg so use it for everybody’s benefit. Come on let’s get some of this scrumptious food and get away from that self satisfied grin on Eddies face.”

“You should have seen him before you got on the stage. Worried sick he was. Still, he’s a brilliant if a bit of an unscrupulous organiser. We will have to give him a pay rise and its time we paid ourselves another bonus out of the ‘Investor’s Fund’ don’t you think?”

“Yes, I think that would be timely and Helen will be proud.”

“Does Helen know about your special gift?”

“No, all she says is I’m bossy and always get my way.”

“But at a stroke you could change your life and live a millionaire lifestyle.”

“I don’t think Helen or I want a sudden change in our current circumstance. We are happy, contented and gradually things are improving. That’s how it should be. I’ve always enjoyed what I’ve been doing. Living a normal life is important for the kids don’t you think? I don’t want to spoil them. All I do is encourage them to be happy, considerate, work hard at schoolwork and play.”

“Well, they do that alright and you’ve done the same for mine. The change has been fantastic. Even the child minder enjoys looking after them, although she now has to work harder keeping them occupied. They seem so interested in everything. They are going to be way ahead when they go to Senior school next September, thanks to you. Even my life looks brighter. I feel inspired. Fantastic!”

They put a bid forward for a contract to run a prison in private hands and the proposal was very specific in what they wanted to achieve for the welfare and rehabilitation of the prisoners and the type of inmates they wanted. Basically, they requested long term prisoners who could be trained in a trade or profession and educated to a high standard. They also wanted an open type of establishment with minimum of clanging bars and cells. They had already been encouraged to put forward a proposal by the Prison Authorities so their demands and specifications ended up in an enormous tome. In essence they wanted to lead the prisoners into a worthwhile career on their release and stop them re-offending.

They were invited to a meeting of Senior Prison Officers to discuss their proposals. Many of the Officers were highly sceptical of their claims and ambitions for the prisoners but since the Service was in such dire straits they were willing to at least listen. Maggie made the main presentation interjecting at regular intervals their success rate with Probationers who had been released to them without any rehabilitation work to speak of. The initial outcome of the meeting wasn’t very encouraging since there wasn’t an existing site that fulfilled any of their requirements in terms of layout and workshop facilities. At this point Greg pointed out that a new prison was in the process of being built at Mongrove. This was quickly rejected by the Management since Mongrove was to be an open prison and house low grade prisoners. Greg persisted and suggested that if they could take over the prison at this early building stage they could adapt the buildings according to their requirements and they would get the prisoners to actually work on the construction as part of their training, under supervision of their tutors. Greg continued with laying out the scene that as the buildings were completed more prisoners could be accommodated, on a gradual bases so that no one would be exposed. The Management could pull the plug any time if they felt dissatisfied with the arrangement. Little did they realise that they were being gradually manipulated and persuaded in a gentle fashion. At the end of the meeting, they took a vote and decided by a comfortable majority that the Agency could put forward a modified proposal and bid for the contract. They on their part would change the specification for the prison based on Greg’s assumptions and it would be unlikely that there would be any competing bid.

They got the contract which was no surprise and set about recruiting prison officers with certain trade skills. Greg’s persuasive skills ensured that they were totally committed and had left their traditional styles behind. Their first job was to trawl the prison community for suitable candidates who showed some promise in the building trade not that this was a major concern for Greg. An initial batch of twenty-five surely, long term inmates arrived at Mongrove and Greg addressed them plus their guards and in detail explained his requirements of them and the task in hand. Their first job would be to finish off their accommodation block and in the meantime, they would reside in temporary portable homes. As expected, they all accepted their new roles eagerly and set too, working diligently at creating their own prison environment. Each unit housed six prisoners in their own rooms, all en suite and a common room for meetings. The furnishings and environment was that of modern luxury flats being built, for up and coming young executives. This didn’t go down too well with the Inspectors at first but once Greg had a word with them they allowed the progress to go on. 

As the accommodation was inhabited, more inmates were drafted in to build workshops for engineering, vehicle maintenance, timber and building trades. More tutor guards were employed and gradually work was brought in from the outside on a contractual basis so that the workers got decent prison wages and the profits were used to defer some of the operating costs. With Greg’s persuasive abilities the inmates got on with their lives in orderly fashion without the need of wardens to keep them in check. Greg and Maggie used to explain that busy prisoners became model prisoners and would eventually turn out model citizens. The locals who initially objected to having a prison plonked in their back yard suddenly found a nice estate of smart buildings without the high walls and searchlights that they had expected. An alternative access road was built to link to a main road so that the locals couldn’t complain about any extra noise or traffic pollution. They were probably quite disappointed and the Committee Chairman and Secretary of the ‘Stop Mangrove Prison’ campaign found themselves redundant and unloved by the local populace who couldn’t see what all the fuss was about before.

The Prison Authorities now wanted to foist all their troublesome inmates onto Mongrove and prison vans would turn up unannounced to try and off load two or three at a time but the Prison Governor was instructed not to allow such indiscriminate action and since it was a privately run prison he had the upper hand. Prisoners were only allowed in batches of at least twenty and then they had to undergo the Greg induction programme after which they were fit to join their new community. The workshops were busy with contracted in work and since the inmates were permitted to work all hours they wanted, the finished products were churned out of high standard and well ahead of time. There were the usual objections from local competitors but they were invited in groups to visit the facilities at Mangrove and after a quick word from Greg they went away satisfied that the social input was more important than their contracts. The training and educational facilities were second to none and more importantly they were in constant use. So much so that the Governor had to introduce shift systems working late into the night to accommodate the demand from the inmates. All this education was billed as a separate item to the Prison Authorities and since the need for Wardens was minimal, the wage bills were comparatively low.  The Agency was making good profit from this venture which they were able to plough back into other good works with the local youth and deprived in the community.

Their Financial Director, Eric had advised them to plough much of the profit into charitable works to cut down on their tax bill. He also advised them to increase their expense account to the full and use it in lieu of salary which would be taxed so breakfast meetings at Middleton Hall became a regular feature. Life was good for both families and the regular bonuses seemed to oil the wheels of a better lifestyle. Greg’s kids were now old enough to go on school trips abroad, skiing or just general visits. Money was now no object and even Helen gave up her part time job to take up charitable works which in many ways clashed with the Agency.

“Greg, are you listening to me or are you in another world?”

“Sorry Maggie, just enjoying the coffee and wondering if we should get into the Fair-Trade business and help the wider world rather than just our local community. Go on then what have you got for me, spit it out? Oh, and that’s my croissant, get off!”

“There’s plenty more where that came from. Now listen, you know the new Social Worker we recruited a couple of months ago. Julie, commonly known as ‘Commie’ because of her political leanings, she has been pestering me why we don’t bring local politics to our people. She says we should make them all politically aware and pester the local MPs and councillors to do more for the poor and deprived. She says these people only pay lip service to these causes because they are least likely to vote and generally have no say or influence in the community. What do you think?”

“Now there’s an issue close to my heart. I was thinking the same way and wondering if we should include anything in my general spiel.”

“She has a quick brain our Julie and she has already recognised that that you are the chief influential figure at the Agency and your pep talks are the key to our success. She seems to recognise your special persuasive powers. You need to have a quite word with her before she puts too many ideas about.”

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll make her my Political Advisor and she can adjust my script.”

“Do you know what else she is saying loud and clear?”

“Go on tell me.”

“She is saying that the family meetings are a waste of time and we should be taking the whole thing out to the community and having big meetings in football stadiums where we can handle thousands of poor and deprived families at a time, not just the ones immediately to hand.”

“Sounds a clever girl! I was going to broach that subject with you at some stage. I must admit I’m a bit fed up with being frightened by Darren on a regular basis.”

“I’m going to assign her to be your PA and you can milk her for any further social ideas. She reckons that if we pretend to be Social Workers, we should all give up a regular amounts of time each week to unpaid social work in the community.”

“Sounds as if she has been talking to Helen. She always criticising our work as being too narrow. I’m not sure how we should approach this. I shall get this girl Julie working on some proposal.”

“I’ll send her round to see you this morning and arrange to transfer her work to somebody else. Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold. Tell me, how is it you keep in such good shape? Look at me, I’ve put on a couple of stone since we started the Agency?”

“It’s all the croissants you pinch from my plate that does it for you. It’s your penance.”

“Joking apart, can you persuade me to eat less and live a healthier lifestyle Greg. Please.”

“Oh, I can do that if you wish but I don’t want you ending up zero size.”

“I’ll never end up like that but I could do with losing more than a few pounds. In fact, we should include that in your spiel in the healthy living section. Our bit to combat obesity and save the planet.”

“I’ll fit it in between giving up smoking and drugs. If we are not careful my spiel will end up being over seventy minutes long. They’ll start calling me ‘Billy Graham’ if I’m not careful.”

“Shouldn’t worry yourself about that. Are you going to eat that croissant or are you going just to tease me with it?”

“Go on, spoil yourself. Shall I order some more?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Do you know it’s a known fact that you put on extra pounds eating scrumped food.”

“Is that a fact. Yours always look tastier than mine.”

“Yes, that’s because you down yours in a flash and then spend all breakfast time eying mine.”

“Let’s change the subject Greg. Where are you off to this weekend?”

“Taking the kids horse riding for the first time. Do you want me to take your girls?”

“Are you sure? They would love that. It’s time we went back to work Greg. I have some meetings with the Prison people. They want to send more inmates to Mongrove. Can I call you in if I can’t handle it?”

“Sure Maggie and come and see me before you go home tonight and I’ll arrange for the weekend and talk to you about your new diet regime.”

“OK, but as long as you still allow me to pinch your croissants.”

That morning in the office Greg was disturbed by a polite knock on the door. Since they had an open-door policy with no closed offices unless privacy was called for, Greg was some what taken aback, since most people just rushed in and put their case before he could say a word of greeting. He looked up from his Gant chart and saw Julie hovering at the door looking somewhat sheepish.

“Come on in Julie. No need to knock. Come on take a comfy seat over there. I’ll join you as soon as I’ve cleared my desk a bit.”

“Miss Maggie sent me,” she said rather briskly as if she wasn’t too happy with the situation.

“Ah yes, I was expecting you at some stage this morning. You don’t seem very pleased.”

“Maggie told me to clear my desk and come and work for you!”

“Well, is that so dreadful? Is that going to be such an imposition?

“Well no. Don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure what you do and I don’t want to get away from the front line sort of work. You know, directly on the coal face making peoples life better.”

“I understand that but I hear that you want to change the world in seven days or less and I’d like to know how you’re going to do that with just a pick and shovel?”

“Well, I don’t want to just sit in an office pushing pieces of paper around.”

“Is that what you think I do all day Julie?”

“No, I don’t know but you spend quite time in here and I’d rather be out there in the field.”

“Let me pose you a problem. Would you rather spend time sitting in a boring old office and help lots and lots of people or would you rather be out in the field and help one person at a time?”

“The former of course but I like to see the outcome of my labour immediately.”

“Let me give you an example of what I mean. You know our family thing where we hit a hundred people at a time and for a day’s work I get twenty or more messages of thanks and encouragement to do more. I know you have your views about them but don’t you think we improve more people’s lives than by visiting each family individually?”

“I suppose so, but what do you want me to do?”

“Julie, you’re a bright girl with lots of ideas and your managers are impressed with your diligence and new ways you tackle problems. I thought you might be able to help me out and give a different slant to my work.”

“Of course, I would like to help but I’m not sure what I would be doing.”

“Listen Julie, Maggie set this Agency up for a number of reasons. Firstly, to get a better life with more money, secondly to provide our staff with amenable work experience with a rewarding package and thirdly and the most important point is that she wanted to help people, as many as possible.”

“What do you want me to work on?”

“Well Julie I think you should start on revamping the Family Day. Sky is the limit to your thoughts on that. If you need a team, we can arrange that.”

“No Mr. Greg, I feel out of depth on this. I’m quite new to this work and I’m a bit uncertain about being thrust into the deep end.”

“Julie, nobody is going to let you drown. What we will do is start by just talking about the issues we have and then we will flesh out an outline plan for consideration. Once we have a few options we can then bring in a team to work through the more promising ones. I shall be involved all the way but I need you to take as much of your own space as you’re comfortable with. Don’t forget that the best work comes from people under some pressure at times.”

“I would feel more comfortable under your guidance Greg and you are the key person in this Agency.”

“On that point Julie, I would like you to voice less of an opinion. Most of our work here is based on teamwork and although on the face of it may appear that I have the most influence there are a number of factors that contribute to our success of which planning and organisation are extremely important. It’s like in any walk of life, the figure heads get the glory and behind them is a great team that can only glow in their shadow.”

“But Greg, your talk at induction and interview was just so inspiring.”

“Julie, I have worked on the issues of influencing people for quite some time and I’m still developing. I hope that you can pick up something of that working with me, but no more of eulogising my abilities to the world, OK?”

“OK Greg, Sorry, I’ll keep such thoughts to myself.”

“That’s good Julie. Now why don’t you get your self a pad and let’s go to a nice little pub I know in the country and have lunch and an initial chat. Can you manage that today?”

“Certainly Greg, but can you tell me where I’ll be working?”

“What do you mean Julie?”

“Where will be my office and desk and things?”

“OK, admin wise you will report directly to me and office space wise you will have to sort out if you really need that kind of thing. You can kick me out of here if you like. I only stay here so that people know where they can contact me. I’m just as happy in the corridor or in the canteen. For a start let’s meet here every morning and see how things develop. If I start disturbing you, then just tell me to buzz off.  Come on let’s get out of this place and start the ball rolling.”

“I’ve lost two pounds in a week Greg,” announced Maggie as she slammed the door shut and brought a chair to the desk. “You’re working your wonders on me. Now I have a family problem I need you to solve. My no-good sister is being divorced and I’m sick with worry for her twin boys. It’s no good Greg, you have to help.”

“What’s this, I’m a marriage councillor now?”

“Look Greg, this is important to me and I need your intervention. No marriage councillor could solve this one. Richard is filing for a divorce and I don’t blame him. My sister is a stuck up, self centred, selfish, spendthrift BITCH!”

“Sounds a nice person to have as a sister.”

“I love her to bits but she has just become worse and worse with her spending on herself and ignoring the needs of her twins and husband. She has got them in so much debt with her designer clothes, shoes and accessories that they have been advised to file for bankruptcy. She got them into tens of thousands of pounds in debt and she is sly about it. She’s cashed in Richard’s insurances and pensions to pay for her ridiculous lifestyle and I shouldn’t wonder if she hasn’t got her finger into her Clients money. She is a Solicitor you know.”

“Hasn’t she had any counselling on this?

“What, Her? She is too bloody arrogant and the worst thing is she doesn’t even acknowledge she is doing any wrong. Do you know, her only worry is that when Richard leaves her, he will take his salary with him.”

“What about the kids?”

“That’s what I’m concerned about most. She doesn’t care that Richard wants custody. Greg, you have to do something before this goes too far.”

“OK, but what do you want me to say to her?”

“Just change her outlook on life as you do with our people and cut her spending.”

“OK, but you will have to give me pointers like how much allowance to let her have and what other vices to curb.”

“You’re a darling Greg. I’ve arranged a dinner party tonight and they are coming early so you can have a go at them both.”

“Tonight, that’s quick.”

“It’s urgent Greg and Helen is coming. I’ve already agreed that with her. You come home directly with me tonight, OK?”

“I don’t seem to have much choice, do I? By the way, what about your own life? Is there a man on the scene yet?”

“I haven’t got time for that Greg. Had a few dates but nothing lasting. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I’m getting the impression that Eric has taken a deep fancy to you.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed that. I wish he wouldn’t linger and hang around so much. He’s boring.”

“Hang on Maggie, he’s not boring. You just need to get to know him better. He’s a real interesting guy. He’s taking my two gliding this weekend.”

“Hey, are you taking up a role a matchmaker now?”

“Give him a chance Maggie. Ask him for a date. He’s in awe of you and probably reluctant to approach you first. Give it a go Maggie, you need a man in your life for your kids’ sake.”

“I’ll think about it, leave your car here tonight and we’ll leave sixish and discuss your pointers on the way home,” as she rose to leave the office.

 “You haven’t asked me how I got on with Julie?”

 “All I know is that she has got the office in a stir and is recruiting a team.”

“Oh, that’s good. She is quite a girl and we spent the afternoon at the café in the park thrashing about lots of ideas. The outcome is that we are going to hire the Arena in Birmingham for a day and have three sessions converting some seventy thousand pilgrims.”

“What are you going to convert them to?”

“A better life as with the family groups but we are going to attract a much wider audience. Basically, we are going to create a sort of commune of like minded people who will be law abiding, politically orientated and have a leaning to good works, on the lines of the family sessions but on a grander scale. Once set up we will repeat the formula maybe on a bigger scale at the Cardiff stadium, the one with the roof.”

“Wow! That’s sound a bit ambitious. Who’s going to pay for this? Don’t tell me!”

“Yes, I’ve agreed to find the funding. Julie doesn’t have to know how I do it but we want some five million people, mainly the poorer families to be included in this scheme and this will give us lots of political clout since they majority of them will be voters for our cause.”

“How are you going to attract such numbers?”

“We’ll start with the Social Services and advertise a free day out with food, drink and some entertainment. Once they have had the talk, they will go away happy and converted. They will also pass on the message to neighbours to attend. Bit of a snowball.”

“Well, I’m impressed but worried that we may be biting off more than we can handle.”

“Maggie, just trust me. My sixth sense tells me that it will work and once the initial rallies are over it will be self perpetuating. We will create a Co-operative movement directed at the poorest and deprived in our society and who can argue with that. Julie is working on the pointers that I will have to deliver. It’s going to be much snappier and more to the point than the family meetings we’ve done so far.”

“Who is going to organise all this?”

“I’ll get an outside Agency to do that.”

“I suppose you will then sell the idea to them and they will be part of the movement.”

“How did you guess? There’s lots more but I’ll get Julie and Eddie to work up the outline.”

“You’re the works Greg,” whispered Maggie as she returned to the dining room after seeing her sister Ellitia and Richard out of the house. “You worked wonders on those two lovebirds. Even Helen noticed that they wanted to be off early. Now that piece about her selling off her designer clothes on Ebay was a master stroke. It will reduce their debt by a few thousand I reckon. I tell you what, if I ever get married or stash up with a fella, you’re going to give us the same treatment. I couldn’t recognise my stuck-up sister any more. She was more normal than normal and so considerate at the table. Usually expects to get total service and attention.”

“Hush now Helen is returning.”

“I loved the way you just put the whole thing to them. No beating about the bush.”

“That’s Julies influence. Said no padding just get to the core and reduce the time to an hour max.”

“What’s all this? Work?” said Helen sharply. “You said you would leave that all behind. Now that lovely couple have gone it reminds me to ask you Maggie how you’re doing with your love live. Have you found somebody yet?”

“Helen, not you too! I’ve had a skin full on that topic from Greg.”

Few months later a top London Conference agency descended on Birmingham to set up the Arena for three sessions of the New Co-op Movement Rally. The Agency team had recruited over a thousand stewards who would travel on the coaches with the people to shepherd them along and also to police the arena area. Although this seemed somewhat excessive, Greg reasoned that they would become useful at a later stage when they moved to a larger venue. The recruits were the unemployed from the surrounding area who had been promised fifty quid in the pocket and as much food and drink that they could consume on the day. Greg met them prior to the rally and indoctrinated in their duties and Julie added that since they were all going to attend the rally in whatever capacity, they were going to get Greg’s message, even the coach drivers who were being encouraged to attend with their families on the pretext it would be a good day out with plenty of free food and drink. Julie, Eddie and their team had edited and re-edited his speech which was condensed into about sixty minutes of mainly bullet points. Included were pointers on tithes, where the converted would donate fifteen percent of their income to the central fund for common good, also each person over the age of thirteen was expected to spend five hours per week on average on good works in their society. Maggie insisted that something was included on relationships and stable marriage.

The first day of the three rallies went off successfully in the end although there were some hairy moments on the coaches and at the beginnings prior to Greg’s address. As the people filed out, they had been transformed from an unruly rabble into respectable citizens, all filing out in order and helping themselves to the free refreshment on offer without pushing or shoving. The most important visible change was that they were all smiling and chatting affably. Another team selected suitable persons to act as a support for the people to find them jobs and assist them in transforming their lives for the better. Since this was an important aspect of the whole movement, further rallies were delayed for a couple of months to get the first intakes settled. Another team had the task of supplying and installing PC’s at all the homes so that the participants could tune in to the Movements exclusive high speed intranet system which would update them on all aspects of their lives. It was a form of lifeline with rapid response on hand to help as necessary. It also provided the movement with its own News Line which only created a positive message and left the sleaze and sensationalism to be peddled by the established media. The Agency’s staff were decimated by Greg and mass recruitment was taking place in new support staff and replacements. The Conference Agency’s staff from London were invited, en mass with their families, to attend the first session and all had been suitably converted so the organisation of future rallies was assured. Greg was extremely busy in holding induction sessions to convert new staff to a new method of working and lifestyle. Needless to say, Greg funded this from further winnings on the National Lottery using one of his staff specially persuaded to not let out the secret of his ability.

Maggie was at first sceptical by the tithe system and the five hours per week that people would have to give to Social works. Greg assured her that it would be self policing and added that they would have to set up their own Financial Bank, a kind of Credit Union and take on Old People’s homes and hospices to provide the members with a sensible outlet for their good works. A team was already working on that theme. Another team was investigating a cost-effective way of providing the movement with good quality holidays to take them away from the humdrum of their previous lives. The internet proved a first-class medium for raising people’s requirements and disseminating information rapidly. The public press hadn’t picked up on the strength and purpose of the Movement and labelled it as some crank evangelistic type organisation even though it was strictly secular, although embodying the best points that the various religious faiths could muster.   

“Hello Greg, long time no see! What have you been up to?” asked Maggie flitting into his office.

“Hi Maggie, been rather busy lately: lots to do, people to see and no time to say, ‘Hello Maggie.’ I hope you’ve missed me.”

“Not so much missed you but I would like an update on what’s happening. I found twenty new Case Officers at my door asking for work.”

“Ah yeh, sorry, I meant to warn you. They are replacements for the people I’ve borrowed for the Movement you see.”

“Well, give me some warning in future. I was at a loss what to do with them. Fortunately, Eddie came to my rescue and took them away. Now what’s this new Conference you’re organising?”

“The Chief Social Care Officer, I think that’s his title, came to see me to do some bench marking, being impressed by our results. I told him to organise a Conference with over a thousand Social Workers from the County and I will address them. It appears they all need a kick up the backside to improve their efficiency.”

“He naturally agreed, of course and Eddie tells me we are picking up the tab for the venue and lunch.”

“Your grapevine is on the spot. Cheap at half the price! It’s part of my recruiting drive to get more members since I will instruct them to sign up for the next rally. I’m doing the same with a few Business and Trade Associations so that we can get more employment opportunities for our members.”

“I suppose you tell them how good your workers are and they just swoon and fall over.”

“Got it in one Maggie. Most of our recruits are from the long term unemployed and I need to find them jobs quickly, rather than waiting for the grapevine to find what good workers they are.”

“I suppose it will bring the tithes in quicker too. Eric tells me that you have bought a private Bank. Is that true?”

“Very true Maggie and you and Eric are on the board of directors. It’s a “Bank of Dave” kind of thing. All our banking will be done through there and we already have some eighty thousand members paying their salaries and tithes into it.”

“Is my pay cheque going to come through the Bank?”

“Since it’s called Maguire Bank then I should hope so. Now a little bird tells me that you and Eric were off and away into the hills last weekend?”

“What of it? Eric invited me to his timeshare place in the Yorkshire Dales. We took the kids and had a whale of a time.”

“Yes, Eric is always pestering me with this timeshare scheme. All to do with points it seems. Maybe will look into it myself.”

“You should, Helen would love it. Now what I really came to see you about is the schools project. How far have we got with it?”

“Well, I’ve done two school visits and I have six more in the pipeline. Why do you ask?”

“Is Sir John Allen High on you list?”

“Oh no, far too posh and good a school. I’m working on the worst in the district. Don’t your girls go there?”

“Yep, and that’s the problem. They’ve just joined the school this term and it seems they have picked the worst teacher they could, to teach them sciences and maths plus he’s their form teacher. I’ve been to see the Head but he can’t do much but placate me. I’m at the stage of thinking of taking them out and let them go private.”

“OK, OK Maggie, don’t beat about the bush. You want me to go and work them over, don’t you?”

“Yes please.”

“OK, phone the Head for a quick meeting this lunchtime. Tell him you have a rich benefactor who is wanting to dispose of his dosh and I’ll arrange a staff and pupil assembly and address them all, say next week. Are they raising money for anything?”

“Minibus for the sports and cultural activities.”

“OK, I will arrange minibus rental for five years so they don’t have to worry about servicing, insurance and things. How about that?”

“That’s fine but isn’t that going to be costly?”

“As it happens, I have recruited about three hundred coach drivers during the rallies and some own their own coach and mini bus businesses so that shouldn’t be a problem. The vehicle servicing will be done at the prison workshops free of charge. It’s OK Maggie, I’ve already done this for other schools. I have the blue print. Check with Simon, he is our vehicle guru.”

“Greg, can I ask you something? Have you involved Helen fully in this Movement thing?”

“No but I have a favour to ask. Can you invite Helen and kids to our next rally and you and your kids, plus Eric and family and I’ll indoctrinate you all in one go.”

“I’m already more than halfway there so I don’t see any problem.”

“Good then. We will have a family affair. The next one is at the City football stadium and I’ve arranged a family box. Invite your sister and Richard along and anybody else, family, neighbours, more the merrier.”

“Something else I was meaning to ask you. You know the Conference Agency took a film of the whole event including all of your pep talk. I craftily showed the speech part to a dozen of our new conscripts before you have the usual induction meeting. Do you know it had no effect on them at all?”

“I could have told you that and saved you the bother. My persuasiveness only works fully face to face. Not on the phone or even video conference. I’ve tried it myself. I presume you tried it for the same reason I have. Just in case my powers disappear or weaken. That’s why I’m working so hard now to get as much done as possible. Now be off and arrange that meeting with your Headmaster, I have a couple of inductions to carry out. Tell Eric I want to see him about Bank business.”

“Tell him yourself!”

“Now, now Maggie, the whole office is talking about you two so don’t be so coy!” 

 

“Julie, I want you to arrange a meeting of all Directors, Executives, Departmental Heads, including yourself for ten this morning. I want a quick progress review on all outstanding issues. We are getting bogged down with trivia I feel. Can you do that for me please?”

“Sure Greg but it’s a bit sudden. Not sure everybody can make it at such short notice.”

“Julie, there’s a meeting going on now with many of the people I need so just burst in and let them know. Tell them it’s important. That will speed things up. In thirty minutes, right?”

“OK Greg, I’ll round them up. Do they need to bring anything or prepare?”

“Julie, if they haven’t got their main facts at their fingertips then they shouldn’t be working here!”

“Bit harsh Greg. Are we having a bad day thing?”

“No Julie but we are getting a bit complacent. Lots to do and not enough time to do it in. I want everything done by yesterday, got it?”

“Yes Greg. There’s coffee in the pot. You’ll manage to squeeze a cup out, I’m sure.”

“Thanks Julie, sorry if I sound a bit harsh.”

“Right folks, lets get the show on the road. I need quick updates on progress and proposed action so keep to the point, no waffle, right? Now I want to start with the Prison thing. We are getting heavy criticism from the Unions and other State run prisons about the low number of wardens we employ and about the excessive amounts of money we are receiving. I know, I know it not of our doing but the ‘system thing’ is getting jealous of our successes and trying to discredit us at every opportunity. I read an open letter today suggesting that we select only model prisoners to get our results.”

“But that’s not the case Greg. The prisons dump all the worst cases onto us.”

“Yes Jeff, I know but we seem to have caused a political storm and I want to lower our profile. I want to pull out of Mongrove and hand it back.”

“But it’s an open prison but we are getting high security inmates in there. The State system just couldn’t cope.”

“Yes Jeff, we know that. I have already told the Authorities that we will only accept low risk prisoners and the State can take over in six months time. The current prisoners will continue. Now Jeff, where are we in providing services to newly released prisoners? We need to up that programme and concentrate on receiving quadruple the numbers planned so far. Please draw up a programme. Now George, where are we with the speed thing?”

“It’s all feasible with current technology and it only needs the Government to accept the proposal.”

“What’s this Greg?”

“Maggie, it’s one of our social programmes. We are all concerned about the rising number of road injuries and deaths, mainly due to speeding. We have drawn up plans to please our petrol head fraternity by getting rid of all speed cameras and speeding tickets.”

“But surely that will only create total mayhem?”

“No Maggie, we propose to replace this wasteful system with getting laws passed to fit all vehicles with speed governors, controlled by roadside transponders or even GPS so that all obey the speed limit on the road. Some of these will be temporary at road works for instance where there is extra need for safer speeds. George, over to you.”

“We have calculated that this will reduce fuel use, pollution and accidents by huge amounts and save the Country billions which could be used for better things.”

“Yes George, but has this Government got the balls to pass such a law?”

“True Maggie but we need to get more MPs onto our side. Dennis, what have you got for us?”

“Doesn’t look promising Greg. If we follow our current political programme we will only get a handful of our own MPs into the Commons by three years hence. I suggest a different course of action by getting current MPs to accept and promote our proposals.”

“What do you suggest George?”

“Well, I’ve talked to our lobbyist at Westminster and have come up with a scheme whereby we invite MPs of all parties, including their families, to our rallies and they can see for themselves what we are up to and they will join our ranks.”

“Fine but how many are we likely to recruit, particularly that we are getting some funny press at the moment accusing us of being a crank movement.”

“I’m handling that personally Eric. I’ve arranged an interview with the editor of that tabloid and I’m going to make him an offer. He either comes to one of our rallies himself plus family or I request all our members to stop buying his paper. He will suddenly find a sudden dip in his circulation. I hope he chooses the second course and then the news will get out to the others what influence we really have. Sorry George, please carry on.”

“We believe that if we offer the MPs the full hospitality package of five-star hotel, transport and full VIP treatment at the stadium then we should get lots of takers.”

“Right, don’t spare the expenses, add a weekend for the family at the best hotel of their choice. Get onto it right away. We need lots of people of influence on board as well as the ones below the poverty trap.”

“Right Donald, how’s the housing programme progressing?”

“Our pet developer is proposing to build an estate of fifty units and is eager that we take, say ten of them as Social housing.”

“Right Don, tell him that we will take the lot, but I want him to change the plan to create a village for old people and the infirm, some two hundred apartment units or more with all community facilities that you would find in a village. We talked about something like that last month.”

“Fine Greg but can we find the money for that?”

“Eric you can answer that. We need to do this quickly to provide an outlet for people to do their five hours quota of Social Service and that should fit the bill.”

“We can fund this Don, the tithes are flooding in. I presume you want this accommodation to be of the highest spec?”

“Of course, Eric. Would you, send your parents, to the current flock of old people’s homes? Now Don, we need to have these built quickly. I’ll help with the planning application if need be. Raymond, how far have we got with the TV licensing thing?”

“Well, the Government spend some two hundred million pounds on collecting fees, admin and probably more hidden, in other funds. To do away with the fee would need only a small tweak of the tax system to cover the cost and from our polls it would be a welcome move but again it’s a political thing.”

“Thanks Raymond, we will package that up with the speed thing and get our politicos on it. Now let’s take a break for lunch. All back here in an hour, OK?”

“Hey Greg, what’s got into you? You seem to be charging along like an Express train.”

“Well Eric, I’ve had a premonition. It’s OK, don’t look so shocked. I’m sure you’ve been told by Maggie, and Julie already suspects that I’m superman. Let’s keep this between ourselves, but I believe I’m going to lose this ability at some stage in the near future so we need the foot on the throttle until we reach the magical figure of six million converts.”

“Sorry Greg, but Maggie told me in confidence and swore me to total secrecy. What timeline have we got?”

“Don’t really know Eric, at least two years I think, maybe longer but I don’t want to dwell on it.”

“So that’s why we have to put our skates on, is it? You did warn me at the beginning.”

“That’s right Eric and we need to have all the ducks in place so that the organisation can run by itself without my direct intervention. Now let’s talk trivia and leave the business stuff for the meeting otherwise the others might think we don’t trust them. Now Julie, you are dying to ask something.”

“Yes Greg, but first of all let me thank you for including me in your select group. I know I was a nuisance at the beginning but I fully understand now. One thing intrigues me though. We seem to be a very much Secular organisation and any mention of religion is positively discouraged. Tell me Greg, have you looked into your future and checked if you will end up through the pearly gates or having your nether regions roasted?”

“Funny you should raise that. I have looked into the future on that point and I at least live to a ripe old age but after that there is a blank, curtains, no after life or coming back here as a beetle.”

“That’s disappointing Greg but I agree with you on the policy of not bringing religion into our organisation. After all, we’ve stolen all their best points for our own use.”

“That’s true Julie, if you read our blue booklet it does hint of plagiarism but why invent new when the old is good enough. OK folks, eat up and let’s get back the meeting. You now know my urgency to get everything done.”    

“Yes Eric, I’m busy?”

“Sorry Greg but I have something important and significant to discuss with you.”

“What’s so ‘significant’ in your parlance?”

“Well, I’m concerned that the Inland Revenue and maybe the fraud squad might be wanting to look into the Bank’s accounts.”

“What for?”

“Can I have your full concentration on this matter Greg? I’m serious. They could close us down if we don’t have answers.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Greg, the Bank is getting great swathes of cash in each week into the Co-operative coffers and I’m talking millions.”

“Well, the tithes are bringing in the most and the Co-operative is spending it wisely to improve the lives of our flock.”

“Yes, but you know what I’m talking about so don’t smooth-talk me. I’m talking about the millions flooding in from certain sources. Your sources and I want to assure myself that it’s all kosher. That it’s not from illegal sources and taxes have been paid.”

“You know where it’s coming from Eric; from my gambling den.”

“Yes, but I want to assure myself that it’s all kosher and I can explain it away and more importantly talk to the authorities that it’s all clean money.”

“OK, follow me down the corridor and I’ll show you how it’s done and you can verify that it’s all above board. Amida is running this for me in a closed office so that we don’t get any accidental snoopers. Here we are Eric. Let us in Amida I have Eric with me. OK Amida, you carry on and I’ll go through every detail with Eric here. He knows all about our little escapade here. This all started when I asked fifty of our people to contribute fifty quid to a gambling syndicate with all winnings being gifted to our Co-op.”

“Yeh, I remember that and we signed a paper to that effect.”

“Right so that was the seed money and it kick started our system or to put it bluntly my system.”

“But a minimum of fifty per cent of the winnings had to go directly to the Co-op.”

“That’s right and now we hand over much more than that. You signed a paper if you remember to that effect. Let me explain. Amida plays all the lottery games and spend some ten grand each day on the tickets. I give her the minimum of numbers for a return and we collect all the minor prizes and occasionally the top depending on her random numbers generated to blend with mine. That way the winnings are spread over fifty people and less likely to raise eyebrows.”

“Don’t forget Greg we also gamble another forty thousand that largely lose but that’s peanuts in the frame of things.”

“Thanks Amida. Yes Eric, we donate another forty grand to dilute our winning streak or streaks.”

“So, each player spends a thousand and only a hundred tickets are winners.”

“We bring in three or four million profit each week on that venture though sometime some unfortunate wins the jackpot by chance. Then there’s the gee-gees and the dogs.”

“But that must be small fry compared to the Lottery?”

“Yes, but still brings in a regular Million or so. Amida has accounts with some fifty on-line bookies and we place bets on fixed odds, tax paid, on outsiders in each race; a grand a time sometimes more. We play the tune of fifty punters on fifty bookies and we clear some five hundred percent over all.”

“Yes and sometimes I allow one of our punters to have a session of bad luck to keep the bookies happy to keep taking our bets.”

“Thanks Amida. OK so I can say you bet heavily, have a system which is extra ordinarily successful.”

“We also place our bets well in advance to get the best odds so there can be no danger of us fixing the race outcome. We are just extremely lucky. Amida here just sets out the races in front of me. I ponder and pick the winners. She just manipulates the results to get the return we want.”

“Look Eric and Greg. I have all the transactions listed on the computer since we started. Last month, you Eric, had a run of bad luck. The bookies gave you a few grand credit, just so that you continue your gambling. Then you suddenly had a winning streak and won it all back plus more. Some of the punters have a holiday and come back with a vengeance.”

“Isn’t this complicated Amida and how do you keep track of it all?”

 “I have programmes covering off all the angles and all I do is input Greg’s selections and then check that the bookies have accepted our bets. I spend more time checking that all is as it should be and Greg has sworn me to secrecy so none of this stuff gets out of here.”

“Are you satisfied Eric? We are high rollers here and the bookies expect that they will get even with us eventually but they are happy to get our money in advance.”

“You mean on account, don’t you?”

“That’s also what I do Eric. Keep shifting our winnings into our punters account then transferring as a donation to the Co-op.”

“You’re shaking your head, Eric?”

“Yes, in wonderment of it all. Why can’t you just place one wining line on the Euro lottery and have one massive win.”

“That would give the game away and as my powers dry up, I might just do that. Satisfied?”

“I’m satisfied but I know things. I will have difficulty explaining all this without revealing your powers Greg to anybody comes a snooping.”

“Well, you can’t and won’t do that. You will have to say that we have developed a successful system and Amida has a higher degree in mathematics and her thesis was on probability. That should or may satisfy them.”

“I doubt it Greg but I’ll let you know if a visit is due and we can talk again. Thanks Amida. Keep up the good work with Greg.”

“Hi Julia, how are you doing? I don’t see much of you these days.”

“Busy Greg, Busy.”

“I won’t keep you but this Political leaflet came across my desk. My thoughts are to do with the Social Help thing each of our members has to do. Have we got enough for them to do? The leaflet mentions quote ‘transport for shopping or medical purposes, claiming benefits, finding a trusted trades person, arranging Home Fire Safety visit, computer training, garden help and discussing care home options,’ where are we with these?”

“All covered off and more Greg. There is no shortage of voluntary work available out there in the various communities. Bert is monitoring all that. The skill is in matching the right person for the job. That’s why I’m here to have a word with you.”

“Fire away Julia, I’m all ears.”

“One of the key elements of our Co-operative Movement was for each person we enrol they have a mentor to help them improve their lives and steer them onto the right path.”

“What’s the problem there? I thought we had it all covered and Jason was onto it?”

“He is but it’s a problem of quality. We need to train up more Lead Mentors to manage a team of volunteers. They need to be full time and paid.”

“Eric’s men will sort that out. We are not short of funds Julia.”

“Not the point Greg. It’s taking an inordinate amount of time to select and train these people.”

“What do you suggest? I can see you have an answer.”

“You Greg, you are the answer. You know when we recruit staff for the office. You give them a pep talk and suddenly they are motivated and eager to do the right things right.”

“OK cut the jargon Julia and get to the point.”

“You’ve done this to our staff, teachers at your kid’s school, the local Councillors, nurses, policemen and others and changed their systems for the better. I want you to give my Lead Mentors the same treatment Greg.”

“But they’ve all been to the main conference where they were all indoctrinated in our ways Julia.”

“Yes but that’s not enough. These people need specifics to kick start them. Look Greg, your pep talks are like a week’s solid training or more. I know I’ve been subjected to one and I’m buzzing.”

“OK Julia, I’m sold. We need to concentrate and direct our attention on the people we enrol so organise a programme, the usual crib sheet with what you want me to say and I’ll be there.”

“I’ve printed one out for you Greg here. I’ve checked your diary and the first is next Monday, a refresher course for out current crop of Lead Mentors and potential Leaders. Fifteen minutes should do it Greg, then once a month when we recruit new people for the job. You OK with that Greg?”

“Fine. How many will there be on Monday for me?

“Only two thousand Greg, at the Arena in Birmingham. I’ve booked an hour’s slot and then they will break up into various conference rooms about the city for tactical programmes.”

“Talking about programmes, where are we with the Housing Association thing and the Citizen’s Advice Bureau?”

“You’re behind on the news sheets Greg. Wal has got our Legal people to finalise that so we have full Charity status and can influence the Councils on our building schemes. John Butler is working on the CAB by pumping money into their system so that they can recruit and train more of our people. John reckons that we don’t need our own CAB for our own people just bolster up the current system with cash grants.”

“Fine, anything else for me Julia?”

“Yes, Richard Staithes will be asking you to cover off a number of conferences this month for the usual pep talk and recruitment drive. I need to keep the Cardiff Stadium filled. This is the usual crop of conferences, Police, Teachers, Trade Unions, Business Associations and NHS staff.”

“But our aim is to target the poor, homeless and helpless Julia.”

“We are doing that too Greg, but we need these professional people for the support that they can give. Just think what help a trained doctor can give with his five hours of voluntary work per week for us; same for the Accountants, Lawyers, Nurses, etc. Most of them will be drafted into the CAB where their help will be invaluable, not only to our flock.”

“Good, you’re thinking outside the box there Julia.”

“Thanks Greg. Maggie is looking for you. Bye.”

“Hi Maggs, you were looking for me.”

“Come in Greg and shut the door. Now sit down. I want to see you about the money thing.”

“Eric went away satisfied.”

“Well, he may have given you that impression but he had a long talk with me and yes we are grateful for the injection of money into the system but I’m not sure what the powers would make of it.”

“We are a successful gambling syndicate. Why should the bookies have it all their own way?”

“I agree with your sentiments Greg but we or you are being just too successful. What if the bookies instigate some form of investigation of their own. They can’t have many punters with your luck.”

“OK we skim their overall profits but I don’t think our activity harms them. I’m going to bring in more candidates into the scheme to water down our own winning punters. Bring in say another thousand or so. Amida says the system can handle it and these people can open accounts in other Banks other than our own for this purpose only.”

“You think this will fool the Authorities Greg? I doubt it. This is huge amount of cash we are talking about.”

“Look Maggie, we need this injection of cash for the building programme and pay for the conferences. Can you think of any other way? Don’t forget you initially persuaded me into this.”

“That was to get us out of a hole Greg. This is like… like printing money.”

“Well, our nice little Chancellor in Westminster is doing this all the time. At least I’m not promoting Gambling.”

“What are we going to do if it gets out? How are we going to explain our selection process? Luck? We need to plan for this eventuality Greg.”   

“Look Maggie, our syndicate invests over a million pounds on bets each week. That’s a tidy sum that the bookies are grateful for, especially the National Lottery.”

“Yes but our or your regular returns of five of six million would make me suspicious wouldn’t it you?”

“Yes Maggs, but it comes from over fifty times fifty different sources and we are going to up that to some fifty thousand transactions per week and majority of those are losses.”   

“I don’t know Greg but don’t forget that the tithes are bringing in more than you now, particularly now that we are recruiting some high-flying professionals. Why are we bringing such people onto our books Greg?”

“I’ve just been talking to Julia about the same subject. We need the professional skills in our advice areas. We can’t rely on our poor, unemployed, homeless to provide that expertise. Not in the short term. In the long term I’m sure that we will be training people up from our own sources.”

“Greg, can you remember the time few years ago when I recruited you to help me in my private Social Support Business? Look where we are today. Miles and miles away from my puny dreams.”

“Aren’t you happy with what we have achieved? Aren’t you proud the way we have pulled millions of people out of poverty into a better way of life? Life with a purpose where they live in a caring community. We have achieved in a few years what our Politicians can only dream and crave for.”

“Where do we stop Greg or do we just blunder along?”

“You know my aim is to get ten per cent of the population in the UK into our Co-operative movement. That magic number will have great influence on the well being of the rest. Look, our schools are in the top echelon and are being bench marked by others. Our support to the general community in our voluntary work has had noticeable impact. Look at our offender programme, we have taken thousand out of the criminal community and made them into upright citizens. Our workers are the best and we have taken huge numbers of unemployed and found them work. We are saving the Government billions in paying out unemployment and disability allowances. The latter was just their method of keeping the overall unemployment statistics down.”

“Hey Greg, I’m in full agreement with you and if it wasn’t your extraordinary ability or abilities then we would still be struggling to make ends meet in that cramped office on Walton Street.”

“Greg, I had a strange experience this morning. I had a delivery of books brought by a mum in her estate car. She was working for an agent delivering in her local area whilst her kids were at school.”

“Where is this leading to Maggie?”

“Hear me out Greg. It gets worse. The car belonged to a neighbour and she wasn’t insured to drive it. She was in tears since it wouldn’t start and she couldn’t finish her delivery or pick up her girls from school.”

“So I presume, being a good Samaritan, you helped her out.”

“Of course I did. I got Arnold from the centre to come out and repair her car and I took her with her parcels to deliver the rest. With two of us it was easy.”

“Yeah, they are paid peanuts for the task and have all the car expenses to cover. I presume that none of her earnings were declared.”

“I didn’t go into that but the mum showed enterprise and was willing to work and the job provided the flexibility of hours with her children.”

“Thinking about it; how about us getting into this and say providing a disabled driver with a small van and getting the mums to ride shotgun and do the actual deliveries, in their spare time of course. You could have one driver servicing three or four mums a day.”

“I’ll get Arnold to set up a taskforce to look into this Greg. He could supply the right serviceable vehicles and we could subcontract direct with the Amazons of this world. It would be all kosher and provide a useful outlet for our disabled community to be fully employed. I’ll see to the detail Greg. I’m still pondering over our other problem that Eric raised with me. Please go and see him or I’ll get him to see you before the meeting this afternoon.”

“OK, OK, I’ll see him and sort him out.”

“Hi Eric, how are you doing?”

“Fine in myself but I have a problem in the Banking and you may shed some light on it. You see, everyday, I get massive donations coming in from numerous anonymous donors and I mean massive. Over five million per week sometimes. I don’t know if I should report this to some authority to see that it’s kosher.”

“Come with me Eric and I shall set you mind at rest. It’s all legal money that I’m sourcing to secure our future.”

“But we don’t need it Greg. Our tithes bring in more than we can spend. We have huge reserves at the moment and I won’t be happy until I determine the source.”

“Well use the reserves on inter-banking day loans that you told me about and make the money work.”

“We do that already but I’d like to know more about the donors. Even send them a thank you note as a courtesy.”

“Come with me Eric and all shall be relieved. You remember how this all started with a win on a lottery?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve started that again?”

“Yes but a bit more organised and big time. This is my secret room and I keep it locked. I’ll knock three times and Ellen will let us in. Hi Ellen meet Eric our Banker. He’s concerned about the money we send him and wants to know where it all comes from. It’s OK Ellen, Eric knows my secret. You carry on with your work and I’ll try and explain to my friend here how this all works.”

“We wondered where you disappeared to every now and again.”

“Yes, in here and Ellen prepares all the information for all this to work. She gives me the last lottery results and I ponder over them until I can pick the winning numbers. We play about five lotteries per week across Europe. We are not greedy, we don’t go for the top prize but lots of minor prizes. We spend about five grand on each lottery and expect to get a hundred grand return. We also play the ponies. That’s where most of our money comes from. We have over a hundred accounts with various betting agencies and use about fifty different credit cards, one for each fictitious syndicate.”

“So that’s why I get donations from so many different sources.”

“Correct.”

“But aren’t the bookies suspicious and stop dealing with you?”

“We only bet on high odds, higher than ten to one so the bookies don’t make losses on those. They get hit if the favourite crosses the line first. We also put in some duff bids to make it appear normal.”

“Look Greg, on the face of it this money making scheme appears kosher but what if the Revenue, Fraud Squad or the Jockey Club should investigate. They will need to know the names of the syndicate members?”

“Oh we have covered that off. There’s about fifty people in the office on the list including you who have all agreed to donate any winnings to a worthy organisation. You signed the pledge about ten weeks age and paid ten quid as joining fee. Don’t you remember?”

“I do but I didn’t think it would be for such a huge undertaking. I’m still not happy and I’ll have to think about it and the implications particularly if some Government Authority starts an investigation.”

“Why should they. All legal angles are covered, we happen to be very successful and since you run a private bank for us with huge reported assets why should anyone want to pry into our affairs?”

“That brings me to another issue. I don’t feel comfortable running such a big bank.”

“OK, we bring in someone from the outside to do that or help you out in a consultancy manner. Whichever you prefer Eric. Don’t want you having sleepless nights guarding our piggy bank do we?”

“This is serious Greg. I’m feeling out of my depth particularly with this extra tranche of cash coming in regularly.”

“You need to suggest in the meeting that we invest our considerable reserves in property, land, housing, factories to provide work for our people. That’s what the money is for, investment in our growth. Go to it Eric.”  

   

 

 

        “Julie, Maggie, Eric, thanks for attending this meeting. I know you are all busy. I have just a couple of agenda items that I want to discuss and you can have an opportunity to raise your points to bring us all up to date,” announced Greg as they all sat around the conference table with pens at the ready. “OK, the first item is on our housing projects. We seem to be behind the curve on new developments and the queue is getting longer of families to house or re-house,” announced Greg as the group listened attentively. “I looked at how Housing Associations operate and seem to build an enormous amount in a short space of time.”

“Yes, but they build prime housing to sell on to fund a small number of affordable homes,” added Julie. “Their numbers won’t help our dilemma.”

“True,” added Greg and continued, “What if we took over one or two Associations and have them develop and build only types of housing that we need. We can provide the funding.”

“We could but I suspect that we might have planning issues,” added Eric. “They tend to build on prime sites so that they can sell on to willing buyers. The Councils tend to have NIMBY attitudes to Social Housing or to put it correctly Council Houses.  These developments have had a bad reputation in the past.”

“I agree with you Eric and I ask you, have we developed or built any shitty Council type houses you are referring to?” asked Greg. “No! I have insisted that all ours have been built to a high standard and we can therefore insist the same or better with the housing associations.”

“Are you suggesting Greg that we set up our own Association?” asked Maggie.

“No, we are too busy on other fronts but I have been in touch with a number of local ones with a view to a large investment and they all seem keen to talk, even for us to buy them out and take them over,” answered Greg.

“If we did that then we would be sucked up in the management. I don’t like that,” said Julie.

“What if we buy out a couple of smaller Associations, fund them and let them carry on as independent entities? Would that be an answer?” asked Greg, looking directly at each person. “Well Eric?”

“If we put in a couple of our own people on their Boards then I wouldn’t have any objection. We are cash rich and if this answers our housing issue with minimum involvement then I approve,” said Eric looking around the table for support. “Looks unanimous Greg. Now what have you got up your sleeve? You’re hiding something from us, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not hiding but I have done some investigation and pencilled in two candidates for take over who would triple the annual volume of housing that we currently develop if we provide the funding and probably more,” answered Greg twiddling his pencil and looking at each person for approval. “OK, I have two proposals here, ready for contractual approval. I have in my immitigable way negotiated the best deal for us so Eric can you check out the figures and pass it to Legal to finalise.”

“I presume you want to combine both to economise?” asked Eric.

“Not at this moment. That would delay things for six months or so. I want each group to carry on as they are but with additional guaranteed funding and to develop sites as quickly as possible.”

“Fair enough but what if we have a surplus to our requirements?” asked Maggie.

“If only! In that situation we rent out to the general public.  OK, can I get to my next topic. I’ll wait until everyone has got some refreshments.”

“OK, everybody settled, good?  Last week a note, an anonymous note was left on my desk stating that I should update myself on Jonestown in the Jungle. Anybody heard of it? No, didn’t think so. It was an hour-long documentary on a cult group active in the sixties cum seventies in California, headed by Jim Jones, a so called social preacher. It had a large growing following, even built themselves a church. Everyone was happy then. For some reason that I cannot remember Jim Jones decided to move the cult lock stock and barrel to Guyana in South America, into the prime jungle to set up a utopian settlement which he called Jonestown. Things apparently turned bad as the amiable leader overdosed himself with drugs and became power mad. The story ends by him ordering his flock to commit mass suicide. It was in fact mass murder. Armed guards forced the flock to be injected with cyanide, babies, children then adults. He shot himself. The Guyanan army found over nine hundred neatly arranged bodies.”

“That sounds dreadful,” said Maggie. “What is the point of the story Greg?”

“Well, power corrupts. We have plenty of examples in this world. Why was that note sent to me I asked myself. Am I guilty of having too much power or achieving controlling power and using it in a wrong way? No listen me out. You know the persuasive powers I am endowed with, could I be using them in the wrong way?  You all know that the press and media are highly suspicious of us. Maybe you should invite an independent judge to investigate us but ensure he doesn’t get anywhere near me so that I cannot influence the report. That’s what I want you to do to safeguard our Co-operative Movement from tyrants like Jim Jones.”

“That’s a sombre note,” added Eric. “I think we should go away and consider this ourselves and get together, minus Greg and come to some considerations.  From my current point of view Greg, I can’t see you turning into a tyrant. In fact, the outside world sees Maggie and me as leaders of this movement. You Greg are just seen, even by our own people as a valuable advisor who has the gift of the gab.”

“Well said Eric,” added Maggie, “And yes maybe we should open ourselves to independent scrutiny so that we don’t create this Jamestown in the jungle.”

“As a lesson to all of us I suggest that you find time to watch this video,” said Greg as he collected up his papers. “Let’s call it a day and we’ll get together at the main general meeting next week.”